Thursday, June 30, 2005
Here it goes. I have been thinking a lot about what will happen to me after I die. I mean, yes, I am just 27 but then again, death does not care how old we are. It just comes and gets us whenever he feels like it. SO I really don't know what will happen to me in 5 minutes, maybe I trip and fall while empting my dishwasher( carring knives), maybe I choke eating chocolate- but maybe the pain meds I am taking want to make me pain free forever- I really don't know. THere are so many things what could happen to me.
There is one thing that really creeps me out- I don't want to be buried under the ground. I JUST DON'T like it. ( maybe I watch to much CSI), but what happent to a body after we die is just something very disturbing and frightening. Oh, I am starting to creep myself now. Just the thougt about what I am talking about right now is very disturbing. Anyway, all this intro is just to tell you that I want to be cremated and let"free" where I was born, where my roots were.
I think that I have seen enough death and suffering within past year and that is what triggers these thougts. I SWEAR- I want to grow old and see my grandchildren, and I want to loose all my teeth , and I want to have lots of gray hair and live in retirement home with all the other old folks, who don't know how to drive anymore. So don't make any assumptions about all the above- I AM very happy how life is right now- I just PMS 24/7 and that is about it. ;) So , don't be mad , be glad and enjoy your life , make a change in someones life, make yourself happy - start filling your own dreams if nobody is not doing it for you :)
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Here are some more to get you started
Keyboard not detected. Press F1 to continue
Do not spray in eyes.
Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.
Use for sex only - not to be eaten
Do not return used condoms to the manufacturer through the mail.
Boot's Childrens Cough Medicine
Do not drive a car or run machinery.
Nytol Sleep Aid
Warning: May cause drowsiness
American Airlines Peanuts
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
So weird, but funny. lol
Saturday, June 25, 2005
Now we are home . it is 5 pm. Kids are still sleeping( I am not looking forward to this night), I finished cleaning my first floor because yesterday we had B party for gabriel- which was also a lot of fun,( I ordered bounce house for him, made him Train cake, he drank as much coke and ate as many chips as he wanted and had fun playing and arguing with his friends. Regina had hard time sharing some of the things during the party, but she did ok. :)
I promise, real soon I post about more exiting and pissy things . lol Right now, I really don't have that writing mode , I think I lost it somwhere , but until then you just have to read my boring post about blah, blah blah FAMILY LIFE. lol
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Monday, June 20, 2005
You can read more about this day http://www.geocities.com/traditions_uk/midsummer.html
Then yesterday I really , really wanted to eat something carb loaded. First time in my life I made bread pudding. I Wanted something really sweet and cinnamony and good, so I corporated flan and bread and cinnamon and chocolate and the final product was awsome. House again smelled like christmas - cinnamony and delicious. :) It tasted GREAT and after 3 bites( I have 3 bite dessert rule now), I just threw the rest of the bread/flan pudding away. But it was creamy and dreamy :) Food exites me and it exites me even more when I try something new or make up my own recipes and it comes out even better that I expected.
Somthing exiting going on in your lives :) ?
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Friday, June 17, 2005
One birthday I am very ecited about happens next Friday. My dear son Gabriel turns 4 on June 22nd. Horray, horray, horray!!!! My original plan was to celebrate his B day on his real B Day, but everybody cancelled. So I moved it to friday. I allready but menu together, got goody bags for kids, bought snacks and drinks. :) Oh, I am so exited. I LOVE cooking and food is my passion, so during the partyes I can but my mind and soul into food and create something good for everyone. :) I can not wait till friday next week. I am so freekin' exited about my sons birthday. :) He is allready requesting all the foods he wants to eat hehe. And I allready designed his cake and on thursday I will get really , really creative and make his dream come true :)
What else? Oh, I ate a lot of chocolate yesterday and today and then I exersised because I fealt so quilty eating all the sugar that sticks right into my lovehandles and thighs. So I sweated and screamed, and streched and cryed - and finally I managed to do my 40x40 minute cardio sessions. Oh, it was tooo hard. I was afride that my back will backfire again, but It feels better after I let out some much needed physical steam. I also am working quiting smoking again, because I got this little cold like symptoms and I am sure it is because I smoke. So now I am down to 4 sigs per day. I have not told my Dh yet that I started smoking. ( I feel quilty, but who cares). He can not read blogspot diaries in China. Not sure why though. So Sometimes I send him my diary entries but not those where I Talk about smoking. lol I am so evil . lol
Oh, my DH told me that he went to Wal mart to shop( In china). Regina wanted some puzzles from china , but he or his assistant could not find them anywhere in the stores , so they finally decided to go to wal mart and got regina some japanese character puzzles. lol. I sooo want to go to wal mart in china. I just want to see how different it is from US walmart. McDonalds is very different- I was told. So wal mart muchs be also.
Oh, I am about to fall asleep. Take care and have fun.!!!
Thursday, June 16, 2005
So, here I am again talking about nothing, but same time talking about everything. My english teacher from Saddleback always told us- even if you don't have anything to write about write about nothing and thoughts will come to you. So , today I am writing about things that will come to me as I write. ;)
Last Night I asked a question-.... Do you have any idea people who YOU are and why you are the way you are and do the things you do ??? The simpliest anwer to my own question is - I am me and that is what makes me unique, I do things the way I do because I CAN. I really don't want to go deeper than that because I am loosing my brain power and train of thought is not finding connections. Usually my best Ideas and thoughts appear when I am allready in bed, nice and cozy and ready to doze off. I live in a grazy dreamworld , my dreams are colorful and vivid , Sometimes I wake up laughing and sometimes crying. Some dreama have deep meanings and some are just full of the worst bull S*** imaginable. But I still keep dreaming. One of the worst dreams I had lately was I opened my door to strangers and was calling 911 same time because strangers were just up for no good, and then I got through 911 and it came out the guy who was behind my door was holding the phone and talking to me. freeky. - In real world phones are my biggerst phobia. I hate talking on phone, dealing with people when I don't see their faces and expressions. I hate answering to phone and making phonecalls. It is just weird. Sometimes I have to sit down and calm down before I make certain phonecalls to some doctors or businesses. I get all sweaty and nervous. It is weird. I also hate opening bills because I know what waits inside- huge bill from AMEX or master card, and you know who did the spending- I DID. I feel so quilty paying off that bill, because I know I should have not bought that purse or those jeans, but I NEEDED them then. They looked so cool and fit just right. Credit cards are evil, but without them life in US would be evil- because person without credit history or with poor credit history usually has trouble getting a car, or house or whatever... let just say- GOOD gredit history is good. So now I have to start saving again.
Ok. I am so tired today. it is all in the weather. It was another windy, cold and clowdy day. But evening was so quiet. It really seems like another storm is coming- it is too quiet. I keep my eyes and ears and nose open.
Good night or Good Morning- to all of you
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
I was watching this weird messed up reality show "Beauty and the Geek". I really don't understand why those girls were called Beauties? If you don't have "brain" it does not make you beauty, you know. Go home and put more make up on , maybe then I concider calling you beauty.
Oh, I am so bitter today and probably will be tomorrow, and I was yesterday. lol But really, I just talk about things that bother me. There are lots and lots of happy events, thoughts people I would like to share with you, but beauty does not attract that many people. Everybody wants to see and read about the dirty laundry and see if there are some undiscovered sceletons in my closet. Oh, of course there are- my life is one big mysteri and I am just starting to rediscover myself- reinvent myself- rejuvenite...lol ok, ok, I went little overboard here. Let's just say- I am finally starting to figure out why I am here and what is my mission. But I am not telling you.... Do you have any idea people who YOU are and why you are the way you are and do the things you do ???
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
THEN, gabriels B day is on 22nd of april and I wanted to have party for him since last year Regina was admitted to St Jude to get her first round of chemo and we did not have a chance to spend His birday with Him. Now everybody has cancelled because there are other graduations on same day. :( I am so sad :( Bad timing I guess. So Now I am trying to reschedule everything. OH I HATE , HATE HATE whoever put a spell on me. YOU BETTER speak up or I will send my most evil thought to your doorstep, and that thought is not pretty;) Just a warning. You better be friend with me and pretend that you like me;)
OK. good night. I NEED A BRAKE FROM THIS MADNESS!!!!!!
Monday, June 13, 2005
So, why does my computer has no memory, or has short term memory? Are my naked pictures all over the internet now, so if you happen to see one close your eyes, because you may go blind. ( I am concerned about my kids privacy now, because this is just weird, )
Sunday, June 12, 2005
Kids are finally in bed and sleeping. I have never ever seen kids so tired. Usually it takes 2 hours to but them to sleep, but today all I had to do was to say- GO TO BED. And they ran, they raced who will make it first. lol. I wish every day was such a good day. :)
I also cheated on my diet- AGAIN. I HAD to eat piece of cake. I just had to. Birthdays without cake are like showers without water. lol So I had a cake and tamales and sandwiches for lunch and for dinner I made cabbage salad with ground salsa chicken. Yummmmmmmmmm. And I made mashed hot banana pudding with cinnamon and splenda. :D:D:D:D:D. I just get my gravings you know.
How was your weekend my dear followers???
WHen shaking started I thought I am going to pass out, , but whole shaking lasted about 5-10 seconds . I managed to yell out loud to kids GET UNDER THE TABLE. I was sooo scared, I still am.
Hey you Californians- Did you feel it also???
Saturday, June 11, 2005
I can only emagine that in 20 something years cinderella only trives Mercedes and eats caviar and cinderella was cheating on his prince with some other dude from Hamptons. Sad, but old good childrens stories are allready forgotten and fancy disney remakes are taking over that only have little truth in them.
Friday, June 10, 2005
Not really. Today was pretty good day. I went to see my "favorites"- Angelina and Brad. BRAD IS HOT. Why nobody talks about how hot he looks on his early 40's . Damn, he is just FINE little thing. And Mrs Smith looks great also. lol. Movie Mr& Mrs Smith was good one. I really did enjoy it. Beginning was little slow, but humor was great, action was great- reminded me little Disney action where lots of things are going on but heros come out without any serios scratches. lol YES, I liked them in the movie and hopefully from now on they stop talking about it. TO MUCH PUBLICITY. Get a life you paparazzozzzzz and journalist and Diane Sawer or whatever your name was. Better start talking about real things like ho NORMAL and REGULAR people live in suburban Laguna Niguel _ I am OPEN for interviews. ;)
So , I got my meridian 2002 cabernet sovingnon( spellin), I got my Cheese- I can not live without cheese, and my latest favorites are smoked cheeses- cheddar, mozzarella, havarty etc. JUST SMOKE IT , baby. More smoke better it is. I am allready feeling awsome and relaxed and ready to dance alone in front of my mirror- what a narcissist I am. I downloaded some great Eurodance from my iTunes store and my mini iPod is ready to take me to next level- WORK OUT LEVEL!!!!!
.. Forever Young, I want to be forever young......
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Everybody is suspecting those 2 are having affairs( brad and angi). That would be interesting . BUT I think Angelina is having an a little relationship with Jennifer Aniston. YEP. While ago Angelina was bragging about her bi sexuality. ANd well, Jennifer kissed girls couple of times while doing FRIENDS, so it is not that unreal lol So what if now they finally hooked up and are living out theyr fantasies?? OMG I NEVER ever go to grossery store again and read those wacky thabloid magasines again. All I get is those thoughts that turn into something horrid- like ANgelina and Jennifer making out. That is a guys fantasy, NOT MINE. But it'd be pretty extreme and ridiculos same time. hahh.. So gusy, are you thinking now what I was thinking earlier??? But what was I thinking about thinking these thought anyway??/ Oh , I confuse myself now.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Noodles for kids---------$1
Nachos with salsa--------$2
Expressions on kids faces when I told them to clean up the mess- PRICELESS. HAHA
Welcome to my life. It never gets old when I tell my kids It is clean up time. They give me same NOOO WAY, and same I DON"T LIKE YOU MOM. But after fussing couple of minutes they see there is no way THEY are going to win, and there they go- in slow motion- to clean up the mess they made. But they are getting better cleaning up and they know where something goes. Next step- I have to teach them how to cook dinner, so I could just sit on my couch day long and do nothing. What a BORING life. REally, how is it possible that so many people do nothing but hang out in front of TV , eating greasy chips and trinking gallon of soda per day?? I mean, COME ON. There is so much more to life than tv. So what if you have kids, GET OUT OF THE HOUSE and move areound. Don't go to the same park you always go, Don't visit the same bookstores or whatever stores. GO and discover something new. There is so much to see and discover and Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed because I just don't know what should I do first.
So, your new mission tomorrow will be something new. lol
--about my car-- Damages 15 000 dollars. Today I finally went to Prestige and signed the papers and now my car is getting extreme makover. We'll see how extreme it will be ;)
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
But oh well, I still got my sugar filled sweet wine and cheese. Kids are sleeping , cat is messing with my toes and What am i doing- I am watching Unauthorized story of... and just sitting.....
Problem here is that Prestige auto collission found more damage to my car. First report ( By liberty mutual ) was almost 7000 dollars, not it is 11 000 dollars, and I am gessing there is even more,because guy from repears told me that they have to pull the car apart before they know how much more damage there is to my car. SO after very stressful morning we moved another baby step forward. Today another LM guy will go to car shop and apprises my car one more time. They better find damage to be worth 40 000 dollars so I can move on and buy new f**** car. ENOUGH is ENOUGH and I am truly , madly , sadly pissed.
Guy from Prestige repear shop told me that theyr customers always have problems with Liberty mutual and that he understands my frustration. FINALLY, somebody who shares my pain. lol
Another thing- I need to confess. I am very weak person. :( September 4th , 2003 I quit smoking and I hadnot smoked until 25th of may this year. I know , there is no excuse to start doing something that can give you cancer. I smoke away from kids. I change my clothes after I smoke, I wear a hat during the smoke- I should wear rubber cloves also. I have to quit as soon as possible. And I hope after this circus is over I find enough strengt to start from zero again.
Monday, June 06, 2005
Ok, seems like things are starting to move to right direction. After 10 phonecalls to different people I finally got my answers. Damage to my car was about 7000 dollars. Right now as I am talking Prestige is taking my car to repair shop and hopefully from here it will go smoothly. But again, things around me lately are just not moving the way they suppose to be moving so I am expecting some more madness in this case. BUT wohooooo. I am so exited. I miss my car soooo much. I want my baby back :D:D:D:D
END of UPDATE no1
Today I have to start dealing with Mutual morons again. Yep, I am going to call them every half an hour until I have some more solid answers. If they give me shit like we call you back before day is over I let them know- don't call me, I'll be calling you, and I make sure I make your days as painful as possible. It is payback time.
Sunday, June 05, 2005
What I did was-
1 triple chocolate something browny mix
homemade chocolate sauce( not very runny)
I baked the browny
I cut it to 4 even pieces when they were still warm
I evened it out.
Moistened warm pieces of browni with chocolate milk
Smeared chocolate sauce over first layer
topped with second piece,
cut a little well in the center of piece 2.
Poured chocolate sauce in it.
Topped with third browni piece
added more chocolate sauce and in the end added last piece and poured chocolate sauce all over the cake.
While it was still warm I cut it to 2 pieces- one for Regina and one for me, and we ate it all. It was SOOOOO GOOOD. Gooey, and warm and crunchy and the best piece of chocolate cake I had it for a long time. I was sooooo pleased how it came out. But after I felt so sick to my stomacki wanted to throw up. Tums took care of that feeling.
My problem Is that I can not stop eating after 3 bites. If I like it a lot, I will eat it until I am so full I can hardly move. So today I have tried to do little better with my eating and so far so good. It is 9.20 pm now , so I really don't think that I will be baking another cake today. But wish me luck staying fit and well rest of the week.
Saturday, June 04, 2005
Stay tuned for more , because you know I got it ....