Sunday, December 31, 2006

Happy New Year!!

Head Uut Aastat!!

Onnellista Uutta Vuotta!!

S Novim Godom!!

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Big Bear Welcomed us with beautiful white snow :)
BUT I have to brag- I LEARNED TO SNOWBOARD TODAY - WOHOO TO MEEEEEE. You have no idea how frustrated I was at first. I almost started crying because I just fell and fell and fell and fell even more... Yes , 2 first hours I spent falling. lol... But second 2 hours was the best time I have had in a long time... I learned it, I fell once or twice, ut OMG, I CAN DO IT. :):):):) Tomorrow (24th) I am going to spend 2 more hours snowboarding and then I have to cook christmas dinner. :):)

OK. BTW. Gariel and regina spent 6 hours in snowboarding camp also and Gabriel also loves snowboarding. Regina thinks it is not her thing( just like her dad ) ;)

Happy holidays to you :)

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Happy Anniversary to Us

Can you belive it ?? 8 years ago, on 28th of December in Caterbury Chapel ( Excalibur hotel in Las Vegas ) we tied the knot... Whoever told that Las Vegas marrages do not last lied... I was just 20 and he was 32. OMG OMG OMG... We are soooo old now. ( well, he is, I am still twenty ) So 8 years ago, 28th of dec it was 1998.... Awful lot of eights.. Nick likes 8. it is a lucky sign in china. His car number is NICK 88 ( something do to with father... Not sure what... chinese numerology is to ) Anyway, We are leaving to big bear on 22nd , and we will be back before our anniversary... We still have not figured out what to do.. At first we wanted to have little one night Vegas celebration, but decided not to because it will be just too much .. Maybe we just do Hollywood or LA celebration- Nice dinner, clubbing, and spend a night somewhere there... I love The Standard hotel , they also have Awsome lounge and REnessance (sp? ) hotel is one of the coolest hotels there, but we'll see... Maybe we just go to pechanga or some other casino that is close by. Something fun...

if you have any good ideas just let me know. I am very open to Ideas..... :)

You all, have a Very Merry Christmas and enjoy your family/friends, /alone=== whatever time you are having. :).

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Ok, this self centered little bitch is back...

.. and here is my Xmas list- AGAIN.. but mostly it is for my better other half....

  1. Startbucks giftcards- just make sure it is not BLANK (Thank you )

  2. Best buy giftcards OR new Rebel XTi digital slr ;)

  3. iTunes giftcards because I have I pod and I need sponsors who could afford to pay for my music needs.(thank you )

  4. Kohls giftcards - because I really need new trendy clothes (thank you )

  5. shutterfly giftcard - because I love taking pictures and ordering them online.

  6. Target giftcards- because I just like target

  7. New mercedes- yes, haha( this one is for my dh)

  8. 8x10 picture frames

  9. Sephora giftcards(thank you)

  10. IKEA giftcards- because I want to purchase one of their roundtables

  11. Presidenti coffee from estonia

  12. Metsatollu CD

  13. Trader Joes giftcard

  14. RED WINE- Chiraz or syrah, or Zinfandel

AND I did have an ultrasound today... I found out that I indeed am very fertile RIGHT NOW... But I do not think that I will put my eggs into use anytime soon.... Everything looked good, so I guess I do have to get my thyroid checked....

And nick is coming home tomorrow. Yesterday I went to sport Chalet ( sp) and got ourselves whole bunch of warm clothing for Big bear purporses... I WANT TO LEARN TO SNOWBOARD. I really do,, so watch out, I can feel adrenaline rush just thinking about my new upcoming adventure....

Monday, December 18, 2006


Today I opened pox with christmas cards I had received over the years ( from 1998 till last year) . I have accumulated at least 1000 cards- I save all cards and letters. I just can not throw the away.

As I was reading them , I found some envelopes and cards that my grandmother had sent me in 2001. Suddenly I just felt so sad that she is not with us anymore and I truly miss her. She had beautiful handwritting and I just had to take one of the envelopes with her handwrittig on it and I framed it. I completely feel like she is with us today and I wish I was not in US when she passed away few years ago. But we can't turn back time. :( I wish we could.

I also had need to create some Christmas stuff today. One of the things I created was just simple orange and clove(sp?) ball... I am not sure what to call it, but it makes my bathroom feel all nice and Christmasy...Lol And second thing - I took some rabbit wire , made a cylinder out of it and decorated it with purple christmas lights ( I go this idea from my friend who lives in estonia. ). It lookes beutiful when all lights but those purple ones are turned off in the room :)

Keep your fingers crossed for me tomorrow.. I have had some major female problems lately ( ovarian pain, nausea, cramps, swelling, water retention , swelling feet ( you know, signs of pregnancy, BUT I am not pregnant) anyway, I am having a pelvic ultrasound tomorrow to rule out ovarian cysts or even something worse... If ultrasound is normal, then next step-endocronology appointment to check my thryoid function and also appointment with immunologist.. because I just keep having one infection after another and no meds work.. also my earinfections are not clearing away... I have huge amount of pressure in my head - I feel like poking a hole to my head and letting fluids go free. I just wish nausea will go away- I do not feel like walking around with feeling that I am going to thow up NOW all the time.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

happy Hanukkah...

You know what, Call me grazy or whatever you want, but I decided that This year, we are celebratin Hanukkah. Which means, since Friday, kids have been receiving one gift per day. We also do candle thing... But of course, kids belive in santa, and since we will celebrate our Christmas in Big bear, I kind of mix 2 traditions into one- Today kids baked cookies for Santa and tomorrow each of them will receive one gift. OMG, I am confusing my kids... WTF, I am confusing myself.... lol But hey, we live in 21st century... I do whatever I want to do in privacy on my home... well, publishing all over the net does not really count, but I am HAVING HELL OF A TIME having

I hope santa is hungry, because kids left him lots of cookies...

Wednesday, December 13, 2006


I just had major meltdown today. I is not even worth mentioning, but I am going to do it anyway. Well, NICk ( my genius Husband) got US about year ago "SURPRIZZZZEEE zoom whitening certificates. ( dumb move, I know his intenitons were good, but PLEASE CHECK wity your wife before you do so).

I am allready doing custom whitening through my dentist office ( custom molds and whitening gels). Well, I did get few of my teeth fixed ( I had to chane fillings and get crowns...) It was not cheep and I tryed my best, Nut I JUST do not have extra " thousands" hanging around the house to FIX all of my teeth ( meaning- get ALL NEW FILLINGS) Because dentists do zoom ONLY when ALL TEETH are in perfect condition- Mine are not... So there you go 175 dollars WASTED because I am just not going to do it. And in some werid way I feel angry at my DH just because he tryed to do something good- BUT it is just NOT GOOD-GOOD I wanted.... and when dentist told me that HE is not going to but my heatlh on risk by doing my whitening I just started crying because I just had ENOUGH.

I've had doubble ear infection for 2 weeks and NOTHING seems to be working, I had sinus infection, tonsilitus and I DID really good job keeping everything under control - just I WAS so ready to get ZOOMED and no it is just not going to happen. I hate days like today. I absolutely do.

Oh, my garbage disposal is still broken and to get GE technition to chekck it out it is 85 dollars and if it has to be replaced- I DO NOT WANT TO EVEN THINK HOW MUCH MONEY THAT is going to be. I CAN NOT STAND BROKEN THINGS, AND I ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT stand how 85 dollars feels like ripping people off.... Dumbasses. I need my chirstmas spirit back... I need to start baking cookies and eating them big time. I also need to open bottle of something because I am OFF the meds ( because I just decided I donot need them since they do not work)... Ok. I am done for today..... Happy holidays.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

here I am

Before my first bellydancing recital...

Ok. I decided to add few words also about m recital... First of all- we could not rehearse before our performance. SO it was totally OMG type of From Alise viejo group only 6 girls showed up, I was kind of pissed about it. laguna beach had more dancers... and some of those beginner bithces were real BITCHES.... cheesh.. I asked them about performance and all I got was - YOu should know better....duh. I do , I was just testing you- seemed like you fat ass had no idea yourself.. TOTALLY.....
Anyway, performance was ok. SInce 2 groups were united on stage, little confusion moments kicked in and I probably looked like chicken on wheels,b but at least i could move my hips duh...
Next belly dancing season starts in february- I can't wait till then.

Sunday, December 03, 2006


Ihope you guys enjoyed my last entry. :) i was told that I should learn to express my feeling more often... We'll see about that. Just mild warning to all of you out there .... better be nice or I blow some asskicking steam to your way... and i am not going to hold back.... But talking about steam... I really , really wanted to relax today. So I went online and started looking up for some of my favorite chirstmas food drink recipes, so I could share them with you :) If you et a moment check them out. They are quite tasty :)

First 2 recipes are Glogg Recipes- it is a HOT drink full of holiday flavour. I am sure you will enjoy it. Especially those of you who get inches of snow...

Next- Liver Pate. ... One of my faves. If you do not love liver, you will like this dish. ;)

Liver pāté
500 g calf's or pig's liver
200 g bacon
2 onions
2 carrots
pepper, nutmeg ,salt
1 gl water
100 g butter
cognac, brandy or rum
Cut bacon and fry it with sliced vegetables. Add sliced liver and brown the mixture. Add seasoning and water and boil until all the ingredients are soft. Grind the mixture with a mincing machine. Add butter and whipthe mixture. Put the mixture into bowls and store it in a cold place.

Potato Salad with Red Peet....... OH, YUMMMMMMMMM

Potato salad with red beet
700 g cooked beet
400 g cooked potatoes
200 g cooked carrots
1 medium salted herring (kipper can do)
1 - 2 pickled cucumbers
2 apples
200 g roast pork or cooked beef
2 - 3 hard-boiled eggs
6 dl sour cream
salt according to taste
½ tsp mustard
a little sugar
spring onions to garnish
Makes salad for 10 - 12 persons. This salad contains lots of cooked red beet, the sweet taste of which goes well with salt herring and pickled cucumber. Peel the potatoes, carrots and beets, and core and peel the apples. Fillet the herring, removing the skin and even the smallest bones. Cut everything (except eggs) into tiny cubes. Stir sour cream, mustard, salt and sugar together to make a sauce. Mix all the ingredients with the sauce, leave covered in the fridge for an hour or two, and take out about one hour before serving. Put a nice heap of salad in a dish or a bowl, cover the surface with finely chopped eggs,egg slices or segments, and decorate with chopped spring onion.

Estonian SourKraut.

Estonian sauerkraut (mulgikapsad)
1 kg sauerkraut
½ gl barley grouts
400-500 g bacon
1 - 2 onions
salt, teaspoon of brown sugar
Put the sauerkraut in a saucepan with pearl barley and meat. Cover it with water and stew it under the lid. It is important to see that the water does not boil off. Add salt and sugar. Cut the onions into little cubes and fry them with little fat or oil. Add them to the sauerkraut. Serve Estonian sauerkraut with boiled potatoes and pork.(use crock pot to cook this dish )

These are just few recipes...
I also give you some links with more info about Estonian Christmas celebrations. :

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Be ready for more ME...

I had no Idea that I am Lesbian swinger who likes to be FU@^! into all holes same time. Oh, and of course I am out here to look for LOVE and swing and AND THE BEST- I am transexual. :0) Maybe now I get some attention???? If you guessed that my MYSPACE account was hacked , you are 100% right. Sadly I become a victim of one of the spammers out there and I had no control over it. I changed my password 2 times yesterday, YET , they were still able to log into my account and post nonsence under my profile. I changed my password once more and it has been successful change. BUT oh boy, I thought that I could keep all those things secret ..... Dang hackers..... shame on you, You filty little perverts with distorted imagination, one day you pay for your actions..... i suspect that you all are 17 year old horny Motherfuckers ---- May acne never leave you , may it cover your whole body with fluid filled pimples and I hope you will be prisoners on your own home without computers.....

UUUHHHHHH I got it out of my system- well, almost, I still have few things to say, but I rather ,not because santa may add me to his naughty list ;)

On a happyer note. Last night I had change to enjoy professional bellydancing. My instructor invited us to persian restaurant where on Friday nights bellydancers show up ( GOOD and experienced ones) and give us awsome show. IT was AWSOME. I could not get myeyes off that girl ( you see, I must be lesbian ;) ) Her body bended and shaked and moved the way I never seen anybody move.. ( BTW, dancer was from Ukraine and very pretty. ) Regina and gabriel were with me. Gabriel was staring mouth wide open, but Regina fell asleep ( it was 9.30 PM ) lol

And today I did some christmas food shopping. :) Estonian House In la hosted a Christmas Bazaar/ fair. I got myself blood sausage/black budding, sourkraut with barley, fresh bacon filled rye bread, pickled pumpkin, gingersnaps:) Oh, I am so glad I went there, I cant wait till christmas and cook real estonian christmas dinner :) ( This year we will be on big bear. :) 2, 1/2 people can come with us. lol And that is it......

oh, And we went and brougt us christmas tree. Short 5 feet one. Regina and Gabriel decorated it and it lookes beautiful :):):)

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Bellydance class Recital

Those of you who are interested here is the info about my first performance. It will be group performance .

Thursday, December 7th , 7.30 PM-9PM

Location: 384 Legion Street

laguna Beach . CA 92651

Admission Free+ refreshments.

More info Call Jheri St James

(949)494 5031

I hope to see you there :):):)

Tuesday, November 28, 2006


yeah, thanksgiving is OVER for this year. Turkey was PERFECT- cooked by me- thank you very much..... ;)

NOW Chirstams is different story. I am done with christmas shopping. DONE.I spent 350 dollars today in TARGET. people better LOVE their present Or I want my money back...... BUT this is how my family room looked few hours ago. MESS. MESS that I can not stand , messs that clutters my brain, MESS that I become sometimes ... Anyway, I had fun shopping and I will be having even more fun wrapping those presents tomorrow.:).
NOW, Yes, I have finished shopping for friends , but what in the world should I get to my dh?? Every fuckin' year i stand in front of same problem- What would my dh want. I know what he wants- BMW 7 series or whatever he calles it, OR Porsche Cayenne.. Does he think that I am santa claus or married to Donald trump??? he has I pod, he has underwear, he has ties,,, Maybe I should get him some English lessons because his english is getting worse and worse, soon I will have hard time understanding what he has to say.( I already do, he blames it on ME not listening... lol ). Anyway, good and original ideas needed....
ALSO I am PMSing big time. Today I ate whole jar of wasabe mustard. yeah, my comfort food. Into mustard I mixed some feta cheese and balsamic vinegar and I ate it with tablespoon. I tryed to tip fruits in it but it just tasted wrong... Maybe next time I should try tipping vegetables in it..

Saturday, November 25, 2006

3 girls..

3 girls, 2 bedrooms and at least 10 pairs of shoes....
I hope you guys had fun thanksgiving and did not overdue your turkey.
Shortly before thanksgiving I had an oportunity to spend 3 nights in Vegas. I am so glad I did go and I am thankful to my DH who came home to take care of kids while I was getting wasted in some top notch

Vegas Was so much fun. But imagine this- one of us did not care about time, 2 of us are addicted of being on time, 1 of us was on strict diet, 1 of us wanted to spend all night long dancing and 2 of us wanted to leave as soon as clock hit midnight ....(lol) But regardless of our differences WE managed to stay friends and not beat each other up.

We saw 2 shows- Mamma Mia and Chippendales ( sp). Mamma mia was good BUT our seats were far back and it was hard to see peoples facial expressions. Music was awsome I just wish we spent an extra dollar to get better seats. After show we went to MIX lounge. I have been most of the lounges there before, but oh boy, I wish I had apartment up there. Mandalay Bay lounge has awsome view to city. We danced and enjoyed free coctails until midnight.

Now chippendales was different story. We had AWSOME seats- just in Center and second row. We had the best view what was going on. I recommend this show to all of you..... Very nice seating arrangements, hot looking bodys ( on stage)... But I do have to mention this... Leila, Reet and I ( and couple of other girls.) were BEST looking, BEST dressed people there.. Seriosly. If you seen what I saw , you'd be covering your eyes and screaming on top of your lungs-OH, I AM BLIND, I CAN"T see GIVE THAT GIRL SOME clothes to but on..... body with at least 4 muffintops ..not prettyyyyy.... OH ,,,,, and

Make sure you take your voice with you when you go because I can quaranteete you- You will be screaming your lungs out...... After Chippendales we

( Leila has to work more on his ghetto face... and

hit the Voodoo lounge- MY FAVE lounge in the city. It is located in Rio casino 51st floor and the VIEWS from there ARE breathtaking.. music was good , band was awsome.. and drinks ( mostly water .... were deliciouuuussss)

ha. But again, I am not sure was it diet Leila was on, or was it buffet Reet had for lunch - they started bothering me with questions- So bitch, are y ready to leave now??? Oh cheesh, I was just getting started and there they were, my 2 favorite downeres dragging me away ......

But regardless of our differences we had the BEST time ever. Reet and I sampled 2 buffets( The Orlens- awsome food choises and lunch was only 8 dollars, And Mirage buffet that looked contemporary but food was overcooked( to dry) and price for lunch was 18 dollars. AND mirage dessert selection sucked big time. Not enought to If you ask Reet- she whould tell you that she had a lunch with food critic who turned out to be not so mellow about her photographs as welll. Sorry, but I had to keep myself

OK. Enjoy our pics. Some of the pics are taken by Reet and some by me. i do not like when someboyd uses my pics and tells other that they took them, so Reet Thank you for taking some awsome shots of me ;)

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Not to worry. :)

Happy thanksgiving to you all. Thank you so much guys for being there for me when I needed you most. Thank you for your kind words and support , Thank you for understanding my weird European accent, thank you for reading my blog and thank you for being part of my life. :):):):)

I have some good news for you - first- Regina is doing great . I got a email from her doctor and he said , that most likely changes in her MRI I due to Radiation therapy... So Thanksgiving will be happy after all. But we still have to go back to memphis in January 9th. Who wants to join me ???

AND I AM BACK FROM VEGAS>> Yeah baby.... But details later. I am so tired and I have to clean up my house and do prep work for tomorrows thanksgiving...

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

I hope you vote....

Yes, please cast your vote !!!!


ALl I got to say that I am worried. Past couple of weeks REgina has complained headaches and now.....
Dr Gajjar told me that there are changes in Reginas Brain ( original Tumor site) and he does not know what is going on. We have to keep an close eye on her and give call back in middle of december. They want to bring her in in Beginning of january for another MRI. :(
I am very emotional over this. Shuttle will pick us up in 10 minutes and all I can do is cry. :(:(:(

Saturday, November 11, 2006

I love you all ;)

I hope that I am Gay post did not scare you off my dear girlfriends..... But seriosly - my dh told me that he would not mind AT ALL if I had a "girlfriend" . Well, I hope he really ment it because I am about to ... yeah, .....

This post will be ALL about me and my needs. And holidays fast aproaching ( sp?_ I have created MY wishlist. YES. MY, MY MY ,MY ALL ABOUT MY NEEDS- wishlist. OH btw, our 8th anniversary is on December 28th....

  1. Startbucks giftcards- just make sure it is not BLANK

  2. Best buy giftcards OR new Rebel XTi digital slr ;)

  3. iTunes giftcards because I have I pod and I need sponsors who could afford to pay for my music needs.

  4. Kohls giftcards - because I really need new trendy clothes

  5. shutterfly giftcard - because I love taking pictures and ordering them online.

  6. Target giftcards- because I just like target

  7. New mercedes- yes, haha( this one is for my dh)

  8. 8x10 picture frames

  9. Sephora giftcards

  10. IKEA giftcards- because I want to purchase one of their roundtables

  11. Presidenti coffee from estonia

  12. Metsatollu CD

  13. Trader Joes giftcard

  14. RED WINE- Chiraz or syrah, or Zinfandel

Not much to ask?? No. Not that I want to pressure you to get me all those things, but I just want to let you know that THIS female has needs and wants..... ;)

Talk to you next week. IT started to rain today and I hope it stops tomorrow, BECAUse we are going to Memphis, St Jude again for 3 month check up ( Regina has MRI and labs...)

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

ok Guys..

lol I just could not resist not writing this.

disclaimer- I have nothing agains homosexuals. I have gay/lesbian friends. i just want to fit in....... ;)

Monday, November 06, 2006

F*u*c*k this weather.

I can't take it anymore. 95 degrees in november. Oh, COME ON. Give me a break. I need Cold, brrrrrr kind of weather. I want to have goosbumps all over my body, I want to wear these ugly season inspired sweaters. I want real fall and real winter. I want to get out of here RIGHT NOW!!! Oh, it was hot today, and It is still HOT. My masterbedroom feels like sauna, BUT I am not turning AC on because I do not want to see another 300 dollar electricity bill in the middle of november. Ridiculos.

Ok guys. I need some information from you. Those of you who love Big Bear and know everything about Big bear, please give me some insite about best snowboarding instructors, or sky camps etc. We are going to big bear during Christmas season- 22-27th of dec. And if weather conditions allow us, we really want to learn to snowboard.... So please give me some advice. I DID do internet research and got some inf. but I prefer personal experiences..... ok.

OH......Oh.....HOOOOOO..... And if I get really lucky I may go to NY in february next year. ( A L O N E ). BUT that happens only if my dh comes home from Chianaland... OMG. I am worst wife ever. We spend no time together and all I can think about is how to get away from him when he comes home..... Bad me, very bad me.... But I still deserve a "cookie".

OH and btw, if you really love me, you will send me an anniversary card before December 28th. 8 years of marrige and not sure how many more to go..... But one for sure... all of you who predicted that my marrige will end after year or two, and I was way to immature to get married- you were soooooo wrong. Dumbasses.... ;)

Friday, November 03, 2006

Bellydancing and more....

I am hooked. Every wednesday evening 6.30 I leave my house to dance- Bellydance it is. It is not as easy at it looks. It can be challenging if you do not have loose hips ( I DO, IDO lol). and We got few of those in our class. ... But oh, I am hooked. Past few days, after I put my kids down to bed, I turn on my Ipod ( bellydancing folder) and start dancing and practicing and sometimes I do it 2 hours in a row, but I am just sooo hoooooooked. I love figuring out all the new moves and the ways my body can move . AND thank god I have some kind of belly - not the most attractive one,but it pays its sometimes in december we have recital in somewhere in Laguna Beach- I keep you posted and let you know when ( I think it is around december 7th). ;)

Ok. Now littlebit about my very weird weight issues. Past 3 weeks I have been eating nonstop "junk "food- candy, candy, chocolate, cakes, cookies AND my weight started coming off fast . I dropped to 134 lbs. Now , past week I started eating healty again and working out regulary and I GAINED 4 LBS withing 4 days. I am not sure what the heck is going on. But I will figure it out. ( I know my hormones are paying huge role on my weight issues).

OH. AND my dear friends ( who ever you are). I started Christmas shopping- so you better be nice OR I keep everything..... ;)

Now about my music interest- few of you know that I LOVE trance, eurodane, hip hop rock and electronic... I can't live without that "trash".

But for few days I have been listening someting different- New age, contemporary etc. Some examples- Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Nu sound, John Mayer, Celtic woman, Origen, Conjure One, The Frey...

And I am totally enjoying this type of music. In some weird way It brings back so many good old memories, even though music/and old memories have nothing in common with each other, but I just keep remembering old good times .. and friends.... Missis M.K- I Totally completly miss you. I hope to see you soon. :)

Friday, October 27, 2006


Today was such a busy day. First helped out Gabes teacher. And then real fun started. My good and very talented friend Parisa asked me to take some pictures of her. ( she needs them because of her work). 2 hours of picture taking paradise.

I really did enjoy photographing her, since camera loves her. :) And I know that she does not mind that I share some of the pics with you :)

Here is her website.

And now I am just relaxing and hoping that my kids do not get reall sick by tomorrow. Both of them had low grade fevers today. :(

I almost forgot , yesterday I went to my neighbros house to halloween party. She is did awsoem job decorating her house. And her food was all halloween themed. She is horrible cook ( yes, she tells this to everyone, ) but she is awsome baker and decorator. :)

(APple cranberry punch)

Brain Jello--

Monday, October 23, 2006

Do not feed BIRDS.....

I know I am smart. I am just fuckin’ lazy. Yeah. You got it girl. And I want to do 0 about me learning mucho to get perfecto.. ( I have no Idea if there are even such words). Haha.

Like most of you know I am taking psych classes. Very me. I LOVE psychology. I have finished reading my WHOLE book ( 15 chapters) . We are on chapter 7 now and it is about learning, IQ, intelligence etc. SO I took IQ test today. Good IQ test. I scored high and I was surprised to see that I scored that high. I was sure that I scored below 100, but seems like my brain is not dead at all. It is getting smarter, in fact.. My IQ score was 120. Not bad. I am not genius but it is above average ( max to my age is 166) and I am very very exited about it. I knew that MATH is my weak point and I scored VERY low on math, but I scored very high on pattern recognition and general knowledge ( about 85% in both. Now I know that Regina gets puzzle and problem solving from me and MATH abilities from Nick. Gabriel is totally something else. I still have not figured “HIM” out. Because he is like me. HE likes EVERYTHING, he is good at EVERYTHING. He can sing, he can dance, he is good at solving problems, he learns everything very fast, he makes friends fast- Almost like me …lol. He is a male version of me… ;)

Back to me now…. I feel the need to stop eating. I decided , that starting from tomorrow, I will only buy healthy food in my house- Well, Most of my food is healthy, BUT my kids eat crap during school snack times. SO there will be no foods with additives, no SMG, NO GMO, no Red food colorings, no shit….. yup, Diana is going Organic and natural. And so does my grocery bill.. Henrys, trader joes, wild oats, farmers market… etc. These are the best stores in whole wide world, BUT they are located little further away from us. I hate driving . I like things to be around me … but to healthier Diana I am ready to drive.
I hope to stop HOT FLASHES with better nutrition…..

OK. I have to do my cardio now. I ate 2 cups of taro ice cream tonight and I can FEEL IT crawling to my thighs- and forming those orange peal like “ mountains”.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Bored, so bored....

I am officially bored with my life. My house is clean, My kids are well behaved, I am great cook, awesome catch ( wink, wink). Yeah, here I am totally , completely full of myself because I am just so bored. Today I went to see Movie Departed- Leo, Matt, Jack – you know, the good stuff… I have to tell you , I never, ever liked Leonardo . He was not my type of actor OR I did not like even how he looked. BUT this movie just made me fall in love with him. Seriously- He looked hot - real hot, baby. And I almost cried when his head got blown off. HIS poor beautiful head, those amazing eyes. To bad he is such an ass in real life. Imagine this- he only dates supermodels and I know why. His poor self esteem is so low and he has no friends. Boohoo. So he needs a 6 feet tall self esteem booster…

AND this brings me to my latest nightmare . About 4 nights ago ( on 17th of oct) I had a bad dream . I was in my bank filling in some forms. Suddenly one guy, dressed very nicely walked towards me- I smiled. He asked- What the fuck I am smiling about because there is nothing to smile about – I am going to blow your head off first. All I could think about was- Please no, my kids are still young- And then BOOM, my brains flew out of my head and …. I had to wake up because my alarm clock sounded. Dang, I wanted to know what happened next. I tried to have same dream next night- But it did not happen- instead I dreamed about how overweight I had become, because I did not fit in from my front door. I guess it is my biggest fear….

OK. Back to my Officially boring life. I need something exiting. I need to get out of my house more often without kids. I mean evenings, nights. I miss dancing. I miss clubbing. I miss the feeling I get in club , when beat is so loud I can hear my heart beating in the rhythm of trance. I miss how it made me feel when I let my guard down and just danced, danced, and danced. I MISS having a drink with my friends and just goofing around. And I miss my husband to- just a little….

Friday, October 20, 2006


I am not sure what world has become. Since when we started caring what other people would do , or what color underwear they wear. ? Since when Brad and Angelina become our super hero’s and since when we would tell our kids – SHUT up, I want to know did Jen really brake up with Vince.
I am just so sick and tired of all this commotion around 21st century “superheroes”. I turn on TV, and hear- Braking news just in- Katie give birth to a healthy baby girl. I switch channel, - NO, No, No- Katie give birth to a healthy BOY. Oh. Now I am confused- I switch one more time—Oh, no- Katie did not give birth yet. Few more weeks to go. WTF??? I can’t take it anymore. I want to turn on TV and watch something together with kids- show like teaching kids to dance, or how to teach them to sing- or how to boost self esteem. Yeah, it is nothing racy, but what are we teaching our kids by telling them- you know- Maddox has Mohawk- it is really in now, We should go to hairdresser because you are going to be coolest kid ever ….
Or I hear kids talking before they go to their classes- You know what my mom told me, I am really cute and when I grow up I am going to be the most popular girl .- AhAAA. Yeah, it is going to be me. MHM…
Other girls join in- me to, me to , my mom told me that I am pretty to and I am going to be most beautiful girl in the whole wide world.

Then I hear boys talk- but you know what I want to be when I grow up- girls ask WHAT- I am going to by a big gun and do some shooting. Because it is so much fun ….. ( WTF????) and then they imitate shooting ( at age 6-7). And girls stick their fingers in their mouths, then zzzzzzzzzz on their butt and - UH, I’m so hot…. ZZZZZZZZz , peace bros and sistaaaas…..

I just listen to these conversations and wonder- I must be doing something right because my kids want to be train driver, trash truck drivers and doctors and bakers. ( sound reasonable …) OR, should I start pushing them to be more “ hip “ these days like--- Pamela Anderson Look a likes…??? Or should I take them to get their pedicures and manicures every week because when you do not get your nails done you are sooooooo yesterday…. ( yeah, you are--- let me remind you- last time I had my nails done was 2 years ago…) …

Talk to you later bitches and HOs.

My fave quote- It is a discusting little gross fairytale Poor girl meets a rich guy and they fall in love. And they live happily ever after. I am so bored of that story.. ( Erica from Bachelor )

Wednesday, October 18, 2006


:) I have been doing much better these past few days. My energy levels are still pretty low, but emotionally I am in better place. I have been very busy with things around here. Monday, tuesday and wednesday I spent lot of time in my kids school taking pictures of kids. ( for yearbook). Kids are so cute. They all know me by name and run to me and give hugs . Funny is, that they tell their parents about that some mom took pics of them and moms were all curious WTF??? lol Funny.

I also have been decorating for halloween. lots of cute little decorations. I love halloween. I love colors, emotions, candy, kids, decorations. EVERYTHING> :):):) I love smells of halloween, I love costumes. I just love it. :)
I also got a outfit to my HP. Beautiful new Daisy skin. I love daisys , these flwoers remind me estonia and midsummers day. :)

We also went to one more pumpkin farms with our friends. They give me such an hard time. they make fun of me for taking belly dancing classes. They think I do not get their jokes, but trust me, i do . I just do not reply to them because If I do, ( Knowig Him) h would make even worse jokes. So FY.

Oh, Today I baked some cinnamon rolls. Oh, THye came out sooooo goood. My house is smelling delicious. It is 9.36 PM and I am eating bread. End of the world is here. But this is only time of the day when i am hungry. I could go all day long without eating and then around 10 pm I get little hungry.

OH. I saw my cardiologist. I had complete blood test and everything came out fine. So it must be in my head. I just think myself sick. I got to change my thinking. I have to be more positive. :) I hate being positive. To much hahahah and ohohohoh just makes me go . DAMN what the heck is wrong with me.....

AND... have you estonian chickis have noticed coffe names in starbucks... Sulawesi, and Estima... What's next- Talina////????

Friday, October 13, 2006


I do not know what is going on with me. My energy levels are acting up. One moment I feel happy and energized and then suddenly I am tired and down. I eat my lunch, but around 2 hours after lunch , horrible hunger hits me. I start sweating, get irritable and moody and at times even nauseous (sp?) and dizzy. I HAVE TO have a bite of something, if not I may pass out because I just loose all my strenght and energy. it is very weird feeling. And second time around I get same kind of feeling after I eat my dinner. . My mood can change with a snap. AND I can't stop yawning. Oh, and my vision is weird also. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning I have hard time opening my eyes and when I do everything seems blurry... but that goes away after few minutes. i guess I am just starting to get stressed again and there is just way to much pressure and responsibilites in my sholders. I really, really do need a brake. I need a brake to think , and find myself again. I feel like I am starting to separate myself from everybody and everything. I have not done my fave things for a while- I used to see EVERY new movie out there- now I just netflix them. I used to be exited about scrapbooking and taking pics - now my camera just collects dust because I lost my interest. BUT I clean, and clean and clean and clean and I am about to go grazy if I pick up mop one more time and wash my floors. I am going nuts. I am going to bee around 1 am and wake up 6 am every morning. ( I just can't fall asleep- I am tired, but I can't sleep. I toss and turn and toss and turn and have nightmares (sp?). And few of my friends are just driving me grazy by complaning about things that just are not even worth mentioning. And when I want to vent away ... ah, I am not even going there. .... Anyway, .I havent felt so lonely in years.........

Sunday, October 08, 2006


All I got to say is- Blogger beta sucks. I hate it so much , I am about to STOP bloggin forever. I can't upload pics, I cant post, I can't log in? What next? UGH. I posted loooooong post before. Hit post and nothing. Everything just dissapeared like someone had flushed it down with water. Suckers.

Anyway- I took kids to pumpkin patch today. ( yes, I had 101 fever, but it is not my job to be sick. I still have to take care of kids and entertain them. then I get a call from Nick telling me I AM S I C K tooo. Honestly? Are you sure sweety? If you are, you are not getting any symphaty from me. I know your job is important- MAKING MONEY. blah, blah blha, so we can afford this beautiful house, but MY job is more important. So stop whining and do not tell me that your life is hard. I am the one who takes care of kids, I AM the one who cleans the house, I AM the one who cooks, I am the one who pays the bills ( wo what that you make the money), I am the one who takes care of kids so what that I have fever. So pleas tell me , whose life is fucking hard?? HUH.??? OHOHOH I forgot to mention- I am the one who has to attend all the IEP meetings and I AM THE FUCKING ONE WHO HAS NO LIFE BECAUSE I SIMPLY AM SO TIRED IN THE END OF THE DAY that I lost interest doing thing I LOVE to do. SO SHut up. ( sorry ). But I just had to let it out. I need to do it more often ( UPs, I forgot one thing- I AM THE one who also has to study when kids are in school, so I CAN DO SOMETING BETTER WITH MY LIFE THAN JUST CLEANING AND COOKING.

Anway- pumpkin patch was lots of fun. I have not seen my kids so energized for ages. They were runnin around, playing games, and taking rides up on a storm. And total amount spent in pumpkin patch -80 dollars( 40 dollars for rides and rest of it for games and food) SUCKERS. All they want is money from us. They know that they can't sell that many pumpkins so they came up with alternitive route. Seems like it is working.
Oh, we had lunch in hometown buffet. I love food, even though my taste and smell have gone to vacation- I managed to remember how chocolate, ice cream, peach gobbler, chocolate mousse cake tastes and I ate and I ate and I ate. Now I feel sick to my stomach. But who cares. It was food. We never stop complaning about food.

Friday, October 06, 2006


Did I TELL you that I love fall??? I do.
Today , I did 1 hour and 15 minutes of volntering in Gabriels class. After class I had to walk to my car, but what I noticed was something really beautiful. IT is amazing how colorful fall is this year. Red, yellow, brownish tones are decorating trees ever

ywhere. Air feels nice and crisp, and I can SMELL the freshness in air. I Oh. It felt so nice. I started missing Estonian muddy, dark, and rainy fall.

I used to hate that "part" , but now I miss it.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Feeling crafty.

Today I went to Tall Mouse ( craft store) and bought about 20 wooden pieces ( dollar each) - pumpkins, cats, snow mans, santas, people. etc. And I started decorating them. I am on roll right now. AND I LOVE FALL. AIR outside is so nice and crisp. :)