:)

Today I opened pox with christmas cards I had received over the years ( from 1998 till last year) . I have accumulated at least 1000 cards- I save all cards and letters. I just can not throw the away.

As I was reading them , I found some envelopes and cards that my grandmother had sent me in 2001. Suddenly I just felt so sad that she is not with us anymore and I truly miss her. She had beautiful handwritting and I just had to take one of the envelopes with her handwrittig on it and I framed it. I completely feel like she is with us today and I wish I was not in US when she passed away few years ago. But we can't turn back time. :( I wish we could.

I also had need to create some Christmas stuff today. One of the things I created was just simple orange and clove(sp?) ball... I am not sure what to call it, but it makes my bathroom feel all nice and Christmasy...Lol And second thing - I took some rabbit wire , made a cylinder out of it and decorated it with purple christmas lights ( I go this idea from my friend who lives in estonia. ). It lookes beutiful when all lights but those purple ones are turned off in the room :)

Keep your fingers crossed for me tomorrow.. I have had some major female problems lately ( ovarian pain, nausea, cramps, swelling, water retention , swelling feet ( you know, signs of pregnancy, BUT I am not pregnant) anyway, I am having a pelvic ultrasound tomorrow to rule out ovarian cysts or even something worse... If ultrasound is normal, then next step-endocronology appointment to check my thryoid function and also appointment with immunologist.. because I just keep having one infection after another and no meds work.. also my earinfections are not clearing away... I have huge amount of pressure in my head - I feel like poking a hole to my head and letting fluids go free. I just wish nausea will go away- I do not feel like walking around with feeling that I am going to thow up NOW all the time.