dumb@$$

I'm such a dumbasssss. I really am. You know. I have not smoked since February. I DID REALLY GOOD, but then i got this giant urge to smoke. Not sure why, but probably because I am slowly getting ready for our July Mempis trip. Smoking in Mempis is a M U S T ... Gaining weight in Memphis Is a double must...

SO natural flow of things is- stop smoking -> gain weight-> start smoking-> gain more weight -> stop smoking AND NEVER START AGAIN.
I smoked 4 cigs in 2 days, and I got so sick I threw up. It was bad, really bad,,, and I just GOT My complexion under control, I was clean and clear, and because of those 4 stinky butts , my face and chest are covered with ugly white heads. SICK. sick, sick..

But yeah.. I am at this point right now. I can't stop eating. It is horrible, and now , that I am getting older ( DON"T LAUGH), it is so much harder for me to loose weight. Couple of years ago, I gained, I lost, I gained I lost . No big deal, but now, I am not sure what to do do boost my metabolism. I have been eating healthy foods, 90 % foods are organic, not processed. And there is that 10% that is still processed... Like ketchup, and other canned things I have to use once in a while... But I CAN't Loose what I am eating in. It stuck like glue in my middle section. IT IS NOT LEAVING ME. I hate it, I truly do. And part of this weight gain is due to my not smoking part. BUT I can't start again. I can't. It is just wrong. :( I rather gain few pounds and complain about it, but NO MORE SMOKING.
Shame on me for doing those 4 cigs. Bad Diana, No cookie for you tonight, just peanut brownie.