Madonna..

.. I just have to talk about her today. I LUV, LUV, LUV her. She is so fucking awsome. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I allready see your faces, and hear your comments- but I DO NOT CARE!! I love her. She has been my favorite since I remember. I always admired her. i am not much into that kaballah or chaballah or whatever ballah thing, but I am totally INTO her. TOTALLY. If I was gay, I would stalk her until my face was on front page of PEOPLE magazine. lol. But since I am almost happily married, I just drool in fron of Tv and secretly try to act like her. Oh, BTW, my brettish accent is much better than hers. lol

And she is such an awsome shape.... OH, I want her to be my trainer....

*******
Time goes by so slowly
Time goes by so slowly
Time goes by so slowly
Time goes by so slowly
Time goes by so slowly
Time goes by so slowly

Every little thing that you say or do
I'm hung up
I'm hung up on you
Waiting for your call
Baby night and day
I'm fed up
I'm tired of waiting on you

Time goes by so slowly for those who wait
No time to hesitate
Those who run seem to have all the fun
I'm caught up
I don't know what to do

Time goes by so slowly
Time goes by so slowly
Time goes by so slowly
I don't know what to do

Every little thing that you say or do
I'm hung up
I'm hung up on you
Waiting for your call
Baby night and day
I'm fed up
I'm tired of waiting on you

Every little thing that you say or do
I'm hung up
I'm hung up on you
Waiting for your call
Baby night and day
I'm fed up
I'm tired of waiting on you

Ring ring ring goes the telephone
The lights are on but there's no-one home
Tick tick tock it's a quarter to two
And I'm done
I'm hanging up on you

I can't keep on waiting for you
I know that you're still hesitating
Don't cry for me
'cause I'll find my way
you'll wake up one day
but it'll be too late

Every little thing that you say or do
I'm hung up
I'm hung up on you
Waiting for your call
Baby night and day
I'm fed up
I'm tired of waiting on you

Every little thing that you say or do
I'm hung up
I'm hung up on you
Waiting for your call
Baby night and day
I'm fed up
I'm tired of waiting on you

Whatever..

These past couple of months have been nothing but grazy. I have not had good night sleep since Nick left. Most nights I sleep 5-6 hours , there are nights I only get to sleep 4 hours. I am afride to fall asleep alone. . I am tired, grumpy and people just irritate me. Yeah, I know- BLAH, blah, blah blah- get some sleep. BU HOW???? I just can not fall asleep alone. I check kids million times during the night. I wake up ever 30 minutes because this freeking 3300 sq/f house is just creeping me out. And our cat has to go before christmas. I can not take it anymore. I sneeze like grazy and cat hair is everywhere. And last night I found my cat in my bathroom licking my retainers. Yuck. On monday I will go and get myself new retainers. NO WAY I stick something into my mouth that is licked by some cat , who licked his @$$ before licking my retainers.

Anyway, I am sleepy but I can not sleep. My mind is busy and restless , I am hungry and it is 11.16 pm.

M a d w o m a n Diana

Overall , awsome day!!!

Yeah!! After multiple phone calls to Trenton NJ, I finally got some questions answered. I mentioned you about Reginas Birth certificate coming in with typos. Well, at first they started blaming me, that I made mistakes on my application. SO I told them, look you ladies, I have it here with me and I am about to fax it to you. YOU tell me then that there are mistakes in my DD application. Suddenly they got really busy, but me on hold and after few minutes on hold, they got back to me and told me, SRRY madam, you were right, person who typed up these certificates made mistake. BUT to fix it, I HAVE to send it in with explanation letter and with my birth certificate copy. DUH!!! I told them I have ordered them before and they DO not need my birth certificate, just give me address, and number of the people who are responsible for this 35 dollar month late mistake. So I got more number, and after few more phonecalls I STILL have to mail in Reginas Birth certificate with explanation letter,but I do not have to include mine. Cool. They wanted me to mail it in with overnight delivery- 47 fucking dollars!!! Hell no!!!!!!!!!!! So I just did monday delivery that costed me 27 dollars. heck, *^*(%(*&(__&*&% I hate spending money on someone elses mistake.!!! ORDER!!! WHERE IS ORDER!????


Anyway, after that hectic morning I helped out in my daughters class, as I do in every friday. Then we got home, ate lunch, picked up Gabe. Dropped my kids off to playmates( after school acitivity/daycare) around 5.30pm. AND then the real fun started. My neighbors invited me to have dinner with them and then we went to see movie. We had dinner at Macaroni Grill. It was ok. I ordered wrong salad. It was way to sweet and way to fatty. YUCK!!! I hate fatty dressings. After few bites of my salad I was full. But then I saw dessert list and I had to get myself tiramisu- YUCK again. It was WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!! If you ever had tiramisu before , then you know it has to be nice, moist, full of mascapone and coffeee. But this one was waaaay to dry, way to fresh, way to b l a n d!!!!! But I enjoyed dinner with friends. ANother funny thing my neighbors is--- I just found out that they TO got married in Las Vegas. They DO got married on 28th of december, but they got married in 1996, we got married in 1998. I mean, me and S. have the same "dry", weird, mean, kind of sence of humor. We constantly make jokes about each other and laugh out loud. lol We like same kind of things, same kinds of movies, even same kinds of foods. And our views about how to rise kids are same also. I little spooked out. lol And what is even spookier, our sons look like brothers.!!! I SWEAR!! Gabriel and D. look like brothers. ( He son is 7 months younger than Gabe.) :):):)

Oh, the movie we went to see was SAW 2. OH boy, lots and lots of blood. I LOVED IT!!! Saw on was more suspencful, but saw 2 was just bloody mess. lol Good mess!!!!!!! Thumbs up!!!!

I had a preminition......

lol

Month ago I ordered Reginas Certified Birth certificates . I payed total 35 dollars( 5 dollars per copy and rest of it for ovrenight delivery) And finally , month after I placed my order my certificates arrived. I am pissed about that. TO make things worse, they arrived with wrong infrormation. WTF???? They got my name wrong. I do not have middle name. And I doubble checked the form before faxing it to them , to make sure everything is ok.

BEFORE I got her certificates today- I placed another order, bc, I was sure they had messed up something. And afer I faxed new forms over to Vitalrecords, doorbell rang-- ding dong- overnight express at 1.55, one month later.. lol
I need these certificates NOW. I have not time to waste and wait. I have to apply for Reginas passport. I knew something had to go wrong to ruin my such a good lucky week!!!!!!

This is amazing!!!

**I AM DOING MY SILLY HAPPY DANCE** and I have reason to do so. Remember my car accident in Estonia- Deer v. Diana, that costed me 60 000 Estonian Krons??? I got a check in mail today- 4826 dollars!!!! I GOT MY MONEY BACK!!!!!!!!! I GOT MY MONEY BACK!!!! I*GOT*MY*MONEY*BACK*!!!! I never ever even once spoke to my claim handler. Everything was done via email or fax. I am so happy that things are finally looking up.

Now I have to wait until they finally get done with my Teenage Blond V. Diana case, so I can get my Enterprise rental money back ( about 1400). Oh.
I belive in Santa!!

Oh, adventures in Liberty Mutual land...

I am doing little better today. I am still congested but at least no headaches.

Do you know that it is really confusing to pay bills when you are used to paying same amount, but suddenly you get bill with 200 dollars added to that normal amount. lol Anyway, I got our liberty mutual Autoinsurance bill and it was 1742 dollars( yearly). It just sounded little off because I knew it was not supposed to be that high.I signed into account and sure enough, last year we payed 1582.
Anyway, I called them and asked what's up. And the answer was not what I expected. I was hoping that they made a mistake and that is why premium was higher. But no. It is because of my speedig husband. He got a speeding ticket last year in september. I guess he was driving with 80 miles in 65 mile zone. He payd off his speeding ticket , and our premium got raised. yuck.
Year ago I new nothing about how to manage and pay off the bills, and how to balance checkbooks etc. Now I am pro. lol I know exactly where my( our, srry sweety) money goes, and I know what to do if there is an error somewhere. lol I make myself laugh even talk about this b/c it just sound so stupid. lol Oh, and I am getting better talking on phone with people ( customer service specialist, who have no Idea how to help me ) lol

Oh, and my car accident case( US one), is still open and under investigation. What is wrong with those other people. Is it so hard for them to just step up to plate and quit playing games??

**Tuuli and Diana**. People who live in Estnia know who she is;) Anyway, I just want to let you know that I am sick, sick , sick. Not just sick of sitting home and cleaning, but Really sick. Yesterday started with headaches, the at night my throat was swollen and red and today I have chills. My nose is stuffy and burns when I breathe through my nose and food has no taste. yuck. Regina shares my illness with me. Whatever I got, she got it also. Blah. I am drinking hot thera flu( or whatever it is),and doing nothing, because my brain stopped functioning.

Fun fun fun. Yesterday( saturday) I went to North Hollywood to wine tasting party ( again). lol This time we tasted white wines. I do not remember what wine won but it was quite good. Congrats Maarika for bringing winning wine :) Myself I took Santa Margarita, Pinot Grigio(2004). Sale price 22 dollars, but with Vons card I got it with 18. I was looking for 2003 year bottle( my fave), but I was unable to find it. At taste tasting I really did not like that wine very much. It used to be my fave white one( of course 2003 one), but this one tasted way to sour for my taste. So out of 6 wines it shared 4th-5th space. Even dollars store , one dollar wine got better place. lol
This time there was even one wine from Estonia( Poltsamaa Lossi vein), this wine was not for my taste at all. To fruity. NMS.

It was fun night filled with 16 drunk Estonian chicks( In general). I volunteered to make snacks to have with wine. Of course I had to make my famous Walnut goat cheese/gorgonzola terrine. I also salted some salmon, made some smoked salmon with cream cheese filling( rolls), and OF course , what party is without cake. I made pumpkin cheesecake that was big hit !!! I am really happy how everything turned out. ON these days I do not get a chance to practise my culinary arts that much b/c my kids love simple "gourmet' food like plain macaroni and corn dogs. lol And just thinking about making something simple that everyone would enjoy, made me feel good..

oh, I forgot to mention. Kristinas friend( Party was at Kristinas house) made excellent dinner for all of us. Basmati rice with almonds and green peas, rice was wrapped in filo dough and was really crispy and cruntchy from top. That was the best rice I have ever had in my life. HE also made lentil soup, roasted chicken, fish, and some vegetable dish. Everything was just great. OHOHOH, and I have to tell you about THE bread. I have never had so good sourdough bread. He has his own starter that he uses to make home made breads. Oh, carbs!!!

I just have to let it out

SCREAM!!!! Oh F*U*C*K* ( srry). My left sholder hurts so bad the pain is shooting from sholder to my toes. Nothink works anymore. Physical therapy sucks, painkillers suck, sleeping on right side sucks. Everything sucks. Damn sholder. I think I just go ahead and agree with my doctor, that I really, really need cortisone( some weird hormone) injections to my swelling joints. pain is so freekin' bad it sucks to be me.
The worst part is that I can not carry my kids , I can not drive car without holding my tears back, I can not dress or undress without my sholder popping in and out of socket( sp?). Even typing hurts.
All you teenagers out there - listen to your moms- if your mom or dad says this or that will start hurting you when you get older- DO NOT ROLL YOUR EYES. I did..now I wish I payd more attention to all the No-nos.

ps- tomorrow will be fun night. Another wine tasting ahead. I hope to taste my pain away.
d

Lets talk about favorites to lighten the mood...

I think that finally at age 27 I have found my real me. I know what I like, I know what I want and I know how to get it. lol But the sad truth is I am to lazy to pursue my dream. Well, lazy is not the right word to describe but close enough. What I really need right now is good location, about 200 000 dollars and people who will listen to my every word and never argue with me. I am not asking much, right?? lol Really, I really am ready to take my big step, I am ready to go and start something nobody has never done before. But, there is always that B U T!!!. And I do not like buts. So, I rather sit here home and wait until sky starts falling down and I get filty rich just biting my fingernails while watching Jerry Springer.
That is all I have to say. Good nigh.

Here is one pic on me when I was pregnant with Gabe.I am not sure what month, but I tink it is somtimes in march, april or may 2001. We still lived in Newport beach and I ate whatever I wanted and whenever I wanted. And I did have GOOD apetite.lol

I am so not in good shape.

Oh gawd. What is wrong with me again. I did so good dieting since tuesday. But today I just gave in and ate as much sweets as I wanted. Today our neighbors invited us over for little fall party. It was fun. But if you know me well enough, you know that I never go to peoples houses empty handed. While ago I told my neighbor that I LOVE pumpkin cheesecake. She thought that pumpkin pies look and taste gross and pumpkin cheescakes will taste the same. So I baked he MY version of pumpkin cheescake and after I baked it, I cooled it down, took cookie cutters and cut my cheescake into mini pumkins ( about 3 in ones). It is the BESTESTEST cheesecake ever. She LOVED it. Even her brothers wife who also is PUMKIN hater loved it, and even took few pieces with her. And since I baked it of course I had to have it. And I had BIG time. lol Now I feel big, but in a good way. I just hope that I wount turn into sweet round pumkin..... ;)


Now on a different note.... I had the worst real PMS in my whole life. It started right after my estonia trip( in august) and ended now( 2 days ago). I was moody, crampy, hungry, nauseus, horny, happy, sad, depressed- ALLL same time. I even went to doctor twice to make sure I was not pregnant- THANKS GOD , I was not. And then few days ago I finally got my period and I have never been so exited and happy in my life. lol Doctors these days are really fast recomending antidepressants- they do work really well, and I have tryed them in the past, but I this time around I sayed NO, but thanks for offering. I want to be on control. I want to cry when there is reason for tears, I want to laugh when I am happy . I want to be mad , when something gets on my nerves and most of all I want to feel alive and feel like I am real me. Yeah, at times I feel and act like real wacko but that is normal. Everybody is on drugs these days and It is harder for me to get to know real them. What they really feel, how they really act. It is good to hear that it is helping lot of you out there:) I just want to learn to deal with everything my way. I do shred more tears when I talk about my daughters condition, but that is normal. I have right to feel sad and cry when I feel like I can not hold it in anymore. That is me, those are my emotions, and if you think I am to emotional and hormonal, then you are probably to drugged. ( lol, just kidding). Anyway, I am not sure what I am trying to say. I do not want to put anybody down using meds for depression or anxiety. do so if you feel like it and if you can not deal with what you have to deal with. I just eat my cheescake and call it " My drug".

Good nigh. tomorrow is new day, and I start my diet again and hopefully this time I follow it until thanksgiving ( 24th of november)

!!!

Friday update!!!- Beth is home and doing awsome :)

Reginas Best friends mom is having gall bladder surgery today. I hope it goes well!!!!

Best wishes Beth.

Blah

Nothing interesting to report. Yesterday was halloween and we all went out to Trick or Treating . This year Halloween was grazy. TOOOOO many kids ( we got around 500) . It really truly was grazy. From 6pm till 9pm it was nonstop rollacoaster with barbies, batmans and sceletons. Oh how could I forget all the sweet cute princesses and candy hungry ALMOST college kids. What is wrong with you 15 year olds. You all look like anorexia had hit you, and there you go yelling TRICK OR TREAT behind each door hoping to get some candy so you can let your friends know that you got one OZ more than they did. Stupid.

I'm just so sick of all this sugar sitting on my countertop and drawers and purse. I hate people who invented white chocolate covered Reeses peanut butter cups. I used to hate peanut butter taste, but after one bite of those evil treats I was changed person. i want more!!!!! I also hate people who mixed up recipe for Butterfingers. I really, really do. Oh those things are sooo good. They just make you longing for more. I take one tiny bite and before I know it, bag in front of me is empy, and I feel like crap because I just ate whole bag of sweet buttery , peanuty tasting $H!TT!!! Oh crap. I am moody! I really have to get my lazy ass off this chair and hit the gym. I pay membership every single month and I have not been in gym for at least 3 months. :( I just do not feel like going there. I do my cardio and mini weights at home... Ah whatever. I just love complaning , that is so me....
Take care. And if you really want some good candy , call me!!! I may ship some of it to you if you play nice...
Di