Monday, December 15, 2008

I don't feel like PMSing..


.. I should, but I don't want to ruin your holiday moods...
I love winter. I love California winter, because it is closest to Estonia Fall. I love rain and storms and clouds. I love stupid people who have no idea how to drive on rain. And I love how they blame how rain made them to have accident.. LOVE IT.

I also love Candlelight and fire on fireplace. It is so beautiful and peaceful. I feel like i don't need my antidepressants anymore, because I have been staring fire in my fireplace past 7 days... Candles are burning nightly and I enjoy my wine with Cheese. ( srry, My butt is getting kind of cheesy too, but who cares.

I also love that my Husband and I have come to an agreement to move on separate ways:) We have stronger and better relationship now. We talk more, laugh more and just hang out. I know, some of you think it is kind of weird that we still live under same roof... BUT, you know what.-- WHY NOT??? We will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary on December 28th. Not sure what we will do, but we have to celebrate it. Kids do not know it yet.... We have our reasons and I know you understand and respect that :)
I know, we are weird. Super weird. ALways been, always will be. That's not gonna change:) And I don't want it to change. I want to be hard to figure out . Nobody but me knows WHO real ME is. And I want it to stay that way:) I know you all have your interpretations about WHO I AM. I wanna hear them:) Don't hold back. LET IT OUT. JUST LIKE I AM DOING. most of the time. ;)


Anonymous said...

Well, that means that you and Nick are separated for now...But let me ask, is there someone else in your life or in his life and how are you coping with all that...? Do you plan to return to Estonia?
My bf for many years recently dumped me, because I'm too crazy for him and, well, oh, it was not an easy day to come over...But I guess it's better that way...And the one thing I know, that I wont have a family never...

Anonymous said...

Hi Hun, I didnt know that you and Nick seperated. I believe you both need to be happy so the kids can be happy also. I am sad to hear that you both decided not to be together anymore. I remember a few years back when things were so happy between you. But if you are not happy there is no reason to continue to pretend.
I am sure he will agree.
Enjoy life and your children that is all that matters. HUGS MY FRIEND SANDRA