Who we really are??

I feel pretty, oh so pretty... heheh. Oh come on Diana, get a grip. Regina told you POSe and you struck a cheesiest pose possible. BOOOOOO. All I really want to do is but on a goth outfit and scare neighborhood kids.....

TB test results.

It is about 20 mm radius circle. And very itchy. It is positive, but SINCE i DID have those weird immune system jeopardizing vaccines at early age, it was expected. I had an x ray , and it showed that I still had mu lungs in there..hehe

Now I have to stop stressing about life issues.

Today one of the worst thoughts came to my head. It is so horrible it made me cry. If you are ready to read something really disturbing then go ahead, but if you wanna have a good night/day, then leave now... I warned you.

" I do not want to have feeling". I do not want to feel pain, I do not want to worry about Regina, I wish I never felt The love towards her. IT is so hard for me to deal with her being sick and me not knowing what's going to happen tomorrow... Or even later today.
Wha if cancer comes back? I do not want to be damaged! How selfish of me to even think like this? It is just not normal. I wish there was written book about Feelings for Dummies, when your child has brain tumor/cancer.

Yuck...

I mentioned while ago that I applied for volunteering position in ST. Joseph Hospice care. Well, before that I had to fill out whole bunch of paperwork, that pretty much meant that I AM NOT ALLOWED TO ACCEPT ANY GIFTS from my patients. heh. Not a big deal, I am not doing it because i want something out of it, I applied because I want to help.
My guess is that there are people who do it because they want to get something out of it ( like will , or gifts)/ Anyway, I kind of felt like I was not trusted with my intentions and it did hurt a little. :( Then, second thing I had to do was Tuberculosis test.. Not a big deal. Righs? Just a tiny poke and then wait 48 hours and go back to doctors for a reading.
My issue is... I have been tested positive before and I had TONS of x rays taken over the course of my Elementary years and they all were ok, but tests always turned out positive, OR false positive..
Ok, I had this test done on Monday. Today testing site is BURNING red and raised and itches as hell. I never had such a bad reaction. I am littlebit worried. IF I had tuberculosis I would be coughing my insides out.. Right??? I am really hoping that it is also one of those false results and IF I get an x ray (IF) everything will be ok.

Just waiting...

AIDS- This makes me very sad...

Some statistics. Estonia is small ( just about 1,3 million people). And give you idea - It takes about 4 hours to drive from one end of Estonia to other...
And I am sure if I find 2007 statistics, percentage is even larger. This is not good. not good at all

http://www.avert.org/eurosum.htm

UNAIDS estimates that HIV prevalence among adults exceeds 1% in Estonia, Ukraine, Moldova and Russia.⁵

Eastern European country	HIV diagnoses in 2006	Rate per million in 2006	Cumulative total, end 2006	Adult HIV prevalence 20052
Armenia	66	21.9	429	0.1%
Azerbaijan	242	28.6	965	0.1%
Belarus	733	75.6	7,747	0.3%
Estonia	668	504.2	5,731	1.3%
Georgia	276	62.2	1,156	0.2%
Kazakhstan	1,745	117.8	7,402	0.1%
Kyrgyzstan	244	45.8	1,070	0.1%
Latvia	299	130.3	3,631	0.8%
Lithuania	100	29.3	1,200	0.2%
Republic of Moldova	621	148.0	3,464	1.1%
Russian Federation†	39,207	275.1	369,187	1.1%
Tajikistan	204	31.0	710	0.1%
Turkmenistan	0	0.0	2	<0.1%
Ukraine†	13,256	288.3	91,057	1.4%
Uzbekistan	2,205	81.7	10,015	0.2%
Total	59,866	-	503,766	0.8%

health as it is...

oh wow.. I have been taking allergy medications to stop me dying here.... Oh wow, Sneezing, itchy and watery eyes, stuffy nose, headaches, blurry vision, painful yaws...... Oh gawd.. Help me. My immune system is compromised by Crazy global warming California weather. One day HOT, then cold, then warm, then colder, then super hot again and then foggy...
Thanks Kathy for great advice. Nausea has passed- NO , I am not Pregnant... Just suffering from sort of weird condition. Uh, but so what?? Henry's has all kinds of natural remedies to help me cope with whatever I have, and even temporary relief is very welcome by me. If Estonia was bigger, then this ALl natural herbs could be huge business there, because you can pick ALL the herbs from nature , you just have to know what herbs they are...
Anyway. Spring brake has started and our family will start Road trip to Yosemite. I hope it brings some much needed relief and peace to our lives. :)