PMS 24/7

I am such a bitch...

2010-07-14T21:45:00.000-07:00

My biggest PET PEVE Right now!!! I DISLIKE THAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND ESTONIA AND ESTONIANS ANYMORE. :( well, Estonians who are AMericans, or have been living here YEARS!! I don't understand them complaining about SOUR cream being to THICH or, beer tasting weird,or where is THE BEST ESTONIAN VODKA, or I miss Estonian candy... TO BE HONEST_ I DON't Really give a crap- US has AWESOME VODKA does not give you any headaches. German stores makes better breads than Estonian breads ever, and sour cream is AWESOME IN US!!!! SUCH A great taste and less water...
IF U miss Estonia so much - move back ! What is keeping u here ? Seriously? Srry.
today is just one of those days I keep hearing complaints from different people and they all sound the same. I DON't make potato salad every event, I don't make fat filled shnitzels or "burgers". WOrld is FULL OF FLAVORS, and I have found my faves. My only fave Estonian "food" is --- Fresh picked Mushrooms-- steamed.. Not soaked in some flour cream sauce . I love flavors , but right flavors...

SRRY.. just had to let it out.. We all have our dislikes and likes. and sometimes I just get annoyed by -- OH, In Estonia we do it like THIS, and THAT.. And of course to add some water into OIL.. I will add my 2 cents-- IN ESTONIA WE WEAR HOOKER CLOTHES EVERY DAY .....

WINE

2010-06-02T21:01:00.000-07:00

who, Me????

2010-06-01T20:42:00.000-07:00

Yes US... Our house has been on market now for 2 weeks. Crazy couple of weeks. ALl I do is clean, and scrub, and vacuum and dust. And i is still nowhere perfect.

We had agents showing. I DON"T like lot of stuff in my house... More stuff- more stuff to dust and clean. Brokers thought that we have to do more staging, because looks like noone lives in our house.. I wanted to tell them - LOOK OUR DRAWERS!!! Look into our closets.
BUT, I have lot of time in my hands.. I am not in a hurry to move away to Beijing... I am waiting for that ONE. ONE who says -- I WANT it the way your house is.. because I know there is that ONE OUT THERE :D
I just want that ONE to have kids, because we have great neighbors who have kids. I want that one to be FUNLOVING, Easygoing, CRAZY OC family, who knows how to be crazy in a classy way ;) hehe

But now. -- I want to bitch about things... I am not sure what "friends" think when I hire them to fix my house???

I can't recommend my friend who hired painters to paint my house because they did FUCKIN HORRIBLE JOB . Even I did better job painting... and to pay 5200 dollars to get my house BEIGE is a lot of money. I had someone else giving me a quote to REPAINT doors, fiX ALL dry wall issues, REMOV ALL extra nails, REPAINT ALL baseboards and 3 ceilings for 5200 dollars, and they promised to do it within 2 days because they said they have about 6 workers come in at once do do it.... BUT I decided to use my friend because i trusted him.. Mistake. In FUTURE I will leave my friends out of house projects.. I made clear on first time WHAT I wanted to be done and they did not do it. I am not the one to go after ones neck after and say -- there are about 20 holes needed to be fixed, WHOLE master bedroom dry wall was not patched and CRACKS were not plastered and repainted... I told them at first time what to do, and I was told things will be taken care off.. I was hoping that after he does my house, I am going to recommend him to my friends and people who needs things to be done, but I can't. If you do something right- do it first time..

I know.. I am to anal.. BUT IF I pay for someone to do it this kind of money.. IT BETTER BE GOOD... actually PERFECT!!!!. AHHH WWTF.. ALl I know , bitch is back and she is here to stay.

2010-04-21T20:43:00.000-07:00

Getting ready to move... Pictures and paintings are removed from our walls. Did it with tears in my eyes, I remember when I took each one of those pictures and I remember when I put them to walls... I remember why I chose those images... And to take them down,... was very , very , very hard...
Our home looks and feels COLD without images, without our personal pieces...
I am still having conversations with myself... There are hours I am sooo ready to get rid of this house, and then I am about to grab my phone and make a phone call to Realtors... Love them by the way..
In a way it feels WRONG to sell this house. IT FEELS WRONG to paint all the walls some sort of beige so that it would appeal to buyers... I have to pretend that I love beige??? I have to pretend that I don't like things on walls? I have to pretend that my house is always perfect??? WHAT IS THIS? some sort of artificial reality?? It is not real. I have to spend money to make money?? I have to make our home according what other like. What is wrong with buyers??? WHY can't you see potential yourself. Get it, make changes the way YOU want them. WHy DO WE have to guess what you BUYERS like? I hate this, I hate faking... I hate faking I love beige.. And I am perfect, living clutter free life... It is just not natural..
Anyway, I have to make peace with it. and deal with this situation....

Deal ... What I can not deal with are liars. And that kind of liars who want me to lie to cover their tracks.. Who I thought are my friends are really not.. I am not lying to make your HOME life peaceful.. Never gonna happen. I started fresh, and I wanna keep it that way.

2010-04-15T22:14:00.000-07:00

I am very opinionated person. I watch LOT of late night tv. and lot of prime time tv.. DVRD... But nothing, NOTHING makes me more emotional than NY housewives, OC housewives, and Atlanta Housewives... I watch these shows and shake my head. THANK YOU ORANGE COUNTY. for keeping me real. Gossip is good, till it reaches the tipping point. I gossip, I bitch about my friends, husband , exes. I DO... But I don't feel angry, hurtful towards them.. They are the ones who help me grow stronger, healthier and more beautiful THey are my rocks.

Thank you Friends:)

Love di

Just MY opinion..

2010-04-11T20:57:00.000-07:00

Obesity is NOT a disease.. THERE are diseases that lead to obesity , and if you find out what those diseases are and you take care of them, you will do just fine.

Now, I am sure there are "few of you" who take it personally, and start a fire where fire is not needed, but I stay strong to my OPINION.
I work hard to stay 6-10 size.. It varies from month to month, and I know IF I don't work hard, I end up 300 lb woman because I LOVE FOOD. I can eat nonstop and not feel full. I can... BUT I choose not to.. I eat, I work out and I enjoy it.

WHEWWWW, I feel better now that i said it OUT LOUD :D

Love as it is :)

2010-03-18T22:22:00.000-07:00

Most likely your boyfriend, boytoy, husband, girlfriend lover, girlfriend best friend always tells you.. "YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN I HAVE EVER KNOWN".:) Most likely you smile and blush and get down with your business, or just blush, or say AWWW THANKS, or NO WAY , JOSE ;)..

It just made me think.. When did that special someone said that? When you had full make up on, When you just gave the best BJ, when you just had FULL waxing job done or when you had personality makeover ( I think we all need that last one ). But seriously.. WHen do guys find us BEAUTIFUL? Because beauty really is only skin deep, and if your personality sucks all you really have to is to be good at sex or BJs.. hahah..

I am just in really good mood tonight. NOT because I had awesome sex...BUT because I had great talk with my husband AND NOT about sex. Just talk about things, without yelling at each other.. "YOU FUCKIN" Moron...... .Instead we just smiled and said.. LET ME THINK about it.. haha.

Anyway... What MAKES you the MOST beautiful Woman to your Partner??? And if you tell me that it is your pinky finger.. I will just laugh out loud... And I mean it ;)

2010-03-07T19:02:00.000-08:00

As much as I hate being me, I actually have more moments Loving ME. I am sure we all remember those teenage years. Everything mattered, everything got under our skin. Every word that people told us made us ether go mad or feel happiness, fall into deep depression, or wonder about gazillion other things. I am glad I am not THAT anymore.

I don't care if someone tells me they don't like my hairstyle.. OK, you don't have to like it. You don;t have it, so why do you even care??? You say you don't understand why I changed my mind about my marriage, and think I am stupid. Again, so ??? Why does it matter to you ? My feelings, My love , my life? Right? You don't like my friends? You don't understand why I communicate with such a broad range of people--- Well, it is easy- Nick and I started out having nothing.. nothing at all. We have all sorts of friends and they are all dear to us. Just be you, but better you. All my friends have something to offer , all of them are equally special for us.
You ask lot of questions but are you really ready for answers, because you may not like what I have to say?
SOmeone wise once said - "Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once." And we are doing it right now. My family is my life, love, pain, tears, laughs, and much more. It makes sense to me, us... We fight for what we love. We make it work ...
Instead of complaining blahblahblah... DO something....

2010-02-25T20:52:00.000-08:00

I don't know what to say, or what to do, or how to build my confidence level up again. I want to feel that I can conquer the WORLD, or at least I want to feel like I will be able to do it.
Right now everything is maybe. Maybe I can do this, MAYBE I am smart enough, MAYBE I am beautiful , confident. Maybe. Everything is maybe. I am still lost,.. very lost. Lost in this world Lost in Me. Lost, but longing to find ME, GET TO KNOW ME again.

I am not a great friend, I am not a great person. I AM TRYING, but I am not trying hard enough. I feel like I have separated me from "world" , I am very picky and am very selective and critical about everything and everybody.. In a way I feel good about having my feet on ground, but I am not feeling great about speaking my mind and hurting some people.

Be patient. THere will be more of me:)

2009-10-30T21:53:00.000-07:00

I am not here to please anyone. I am here for me. I am here with my thoughts and feelings. I have been honest. I have been ME.
There are days I wish people could be more than themselves. JUST forget about "game faces". Stop pretending that you are something else. But I can't ask for it. It is their choice, their freedom. if they want to pretend, I have to deal with it. But I can't stand it when they turn around and do something behind their friends back..

anger, anger, anger.

2009-10-20T21:16:00.000-07:00

I want my anger to leave me alone. I want to grieve without anger... I feel angry I could not grant Reginas wish to keep her alive. One of our last conversations we had was about letting go, and I told her that we are happy that she has been our ANgel all these years, but we want her to be happier and take no mroe medicine, and just let go..... I remember the look in her eyes. I remember the sudden saddness that came over her.... She did not speak for 2 minutes a and when she finally did, she only said - " I don't want to die"...
Myself I was dying inside. I could not keep it together, I just cried while she just laid down her eyes closed.... After that she had couple of confusing, but good days.. SHe was smiling, and giving us last directions, and I have not been able to follow those directions. I have not been able to play online with her webkinz... I look at them daily next to her Urn, but I can't insert her password, and username.. I cant...

I feel anger towards cancer, and how little doctors really know about cancer and genes, and drugs-- .
I feel angry at those few times I got mad at her.... ..

I HATE GOING TO STORES and seeing HER STYLE EVERYWHERE.... I Miss making her her favorite foods and making her smile . I miss how she hugged me when I needed my hug, and I miss hugging her tight when she needed one hug... I miss how she pushed me away and said -- ENOUGH__- I want to watch TV NOW....

I don't want to miss her so much that it is hard to breathe at times..

I LOVE HER SO MUCH IT HURTS...

2009-08-06T20:38:00.000-07:00

Don't mess with Diana Tan. I'm from Seto Ghetto and I can hurt you ;)

2009-07-06T21:17:00.000-07:00

Love Hurts

2009-05-15T20:54:00.001-07:00

You all know I am complicated and weird. I do my own thing, I walk my own route. Once in a while I get lost , but I find my way out and do my best to be me again. It is so easy to get lost in this mixed up weird perfection seeking world. . With me it is- You see what you get, and sometimes even something extra. You you never know what that extra is... Temper tantrums? sudden laugh out loud without any good reason.. Sudden crying spells.. Yeah. I am human after all. I have feelings, thoughts, obsessions, opinions. I don't care if you don't agree with them. I am not accepting you to agree with me 100%. JUST accept me the way I am. And be ready for surprises:),,,

Love you all :)

2009-04-25T20:31:00.001-07:00

I know few of you are confused about what the heck I was talking in my previous post- ME AND CONFUSED?? NEVER.... BUT the truth is.. I have been having those confusing moments more and more.
As some of you know, Nick and I decided to separate. ( WELL, I decided first and he just does whatever I want .. ;) ) I know I know I know, HE is one great catch, and whoever gonna get him will be luckiest woman on earth :) AND that was one of my confusing points... WHY in the world I want to give him up and leave this lifestyle and standards . WHY I am unhappy? I am not. I really am not, but I can't change what my heart says. I can't just look him into eye and lie about rest of my life. THat is not me.
I STILL DO LOVE HIM, and that will never change but my love for him now is more caring , friendly, My love for him is Different...
ANother thing my friends have been asking from me. AM I ready to downgrade my life? AM I? I really don't know.
I am country girl. Grew up with caws and pigs and fleas and chickens and drying hay every summer for cows and digging potatoes out fo ground every year ( YES I DID, and I was younger than gabriel when I first had to do those chores ) Child labor... AND I did fine.. I HATED it, I hated country lifestlye, I hated dirt, I hated doing laundry and dishes by hand. I HATED NOT HAVING AC or running water in house.. I STILL DO HATE THAT. AND I WILL NEVER EVER IN MILLION YEARS GO BACK TO THAT. BUT.. IF I build my own house in country side with AC and heat and running water and bathroom IN HOUSE.. I think I COULD do fine.. I guess.
ANyway. I don't like hard physical work. I am not afraid of it. I can do it, but I HATE IT. I'm no babe, but it's just the way I feel. I like people in US. I love FOOD here, I love drinks here.. Once in a while I will tell people oh yeah, I miss chocolates or beer (ONLY BEER I miss is A le coq).. But I don't really. I am one confused Estonian. I love spicy mexican food, I Love Cosmos, I love rear tuna and CA rolls, and tofu ...
OH, I better stop now... I also don't miss estonian TV, or Radio or literature. OR who is who in there....
ALL I really care is my friends, my family and my boyfriend... But everything is very complicated. SUper complicated. I stop here... because I am sure you are done with this anti Estonian crap...

2009-04-06T19:54:00.001-07:00

You know what is sad? My PMS 24/7 is not all that anymore. OH, there are things that get me ANGRY and boiling and smokin' but i take gazillion breaths in and blow them out and i am almost ok . ALMOST.. But one thing that still bugs me.. I still don't know who I really am. I have been doing some soul searching. I know what I like, I know what I hate. I know what turns me on and fires me up. BUT who is real Diana anyway? There are so many ME's IN ME, that time to time i find myself wondering- what the fuck is wrong with me?

I don't feel like PMSing..

2008-12-15T20:34:00.000-08:00

.

.. I should, but I don't want to ruin your holiday moods...
I love winter. I love California winter, because it is closest to Estonia Fall. I love rain and storms and clouds. I love stupid people who have no idea how to drive on rain. And I love how they blame how rain made them to have accident.. LOVE IT.

I also love Candlelight and fire on fireplace. It is so beautiful and peaceful. I feel like i don't need my antidepressants anymore, because I have been staring fire in my fireplace past 7 days... Candles are burning nightly and I enjoy my wine with Cheese. ( srry, My butt is getting kind of cheesy too, but who cares.

I also love that my Husband and I have come to an agreement to move on separate ways:) We have stronger and better relationship now. We talk more, laugh more and just hang out. I know, some of you think it is kind of weird that we still live under same roof... BUT, you know what.-- WHY NOT??? We will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary on December 28th. Not sure what we will do, but we have to celebrate it. Kids do not know it yet.... We have our reasons and I know you understand and respect that :)
I know, we are weird. Super weird. ALways been, always will be. That's not gonna change:) And I don't want it to change. I want to be hard to figure out . Nobody but me knows WHO real ME is. And I want it to stay that way:) I know you all have your interpretations about WHO I AM. I wanna hear them:) Don't hold back. LET IT OUT. JUST LIKE I AM DOING. most of the time. ;)

Best buy part 2

2008-12-06T21:48:00.001-08:00

Seriously, what the fuck is up with that. I called them today again, REQUESTING return slips... Guess what, Those retards think they are working. They don't do a shit... Second time I asked them to email me those Slips, THEY N EVER DID. AND they do have correct email in their file. Well, it's their loss. I am NOT returning those parts back to them Till they email me some sort of return labels., and I keep calling them till I will be on their blacklist.... DORKS.. That's all I can say...

NOW, on a good note. I can not stand being a woman. I really can't. My hormones are driving me insane, and All I can do is sweat about it... I do not want to go on birth control. Because then I will sweat even more... And most likely get a high blood pressure.. and so on... I just want my beard to stop growing. i am tired of shaving nightly... hehe And there are all these beauty rituals I have to do to look somewhat acceptable... Blah... and that's it..

best Buy drama

2008-12-04T09:13:00.000-08:00

Small things, like peoples stupidity is what makes me angry. I can't stand companies, who can't do their job right. I Just don't understand. ALl They got to do is FIND me right AC adapter with right jack....
They keep sending me something that does not work.
Today after 30 minutes on phone, I was told that Srry, HP discontinued doing IDENTICAL adapters to mine.. SO DEAL WITH IT... WTF??? I have warranty. I have no idea what to do. I NEED IT. I NEED MY AC ADAPTER that works with my adapter.

YOU see, this kind of SHIT, that just drives me completely insane. I don't care if they discontinued making then. I NEED ONE, and I need one NOW....

THE one I need is on right, and the WRONG one on left ( They sent me SAME adapter TWICE already )... .... .... Difference in minor, BUT it matter to my laptop. MY laptop needs what it needs, and that end of this fucking story... :(:(:(:(:(

PS. Best Buy partsearch told me to contact HP. Screw them...

UUUUHHHH

2008-10-28T18:40:00.000-07:00

Finally I have something to bitch about... Well, not really, but I write about it anyway.
You all know my love for hair and hair color. crazy colors. I am not sure how, but whatever color I do my hair I look good.. ( yeah, you heard it right). Past month or 2 I have been walking around with pink hair. Kids LOVEd it, not sure about parents. I am sure they did not see me as THE best role model for their kids... hehe.. But who cares anyways. It is all about me and if I like it and can pull it off then screw them ;)

AND now. I thought that it was about time for change. So I bought a box of Revlon BLACK hair color and after 4 dollars, and 40 minutes I had spanking new hair. WOHOOO..

So today was really funny day.
Well, I really do not color my hair to get attention, I do it because I feel better about my self when I do something drastic. ANd from Pink To Black, it was pretty drastic.
So , today I did my regular thing. I went to pick up kids from school. And comments started flying in.. WOW, Black. YOU really can pull it off.. WOW, you look really sophisticated and classy.... ( whatever that means.... lol), after 20 comments I kind of wanted to disappear for a while, since I thought that was enough attention for a day... lol. Couple of people did not recognize me, since I was not PINK anymore. Oh what a day. Not much drama, but enough to last for a day.:)

I do not know...

2008-09-29T12:01:00.000-07:00

I hope it is not to late to apologize. i am still PMSing 24/7 but feel the need not to share my thoughts with you. My world as it is is full of unpleasant surprises and happenings. One thing after another. There are days that I do not want to get out of bed because I have no desire to deal with what life throws me..( US). But I put on my "party" shoes and start living large..
I really am sick dealing with hospitals, doctors and medications. I am so tired of living one day at a time... I wanna see future, but I am to scared to look ... I want to be prepared but same time I do not know how to do so.

...

2008-06-08T20:39:00.001-07:00

It doesn't happen that often that i leave my house without camera. I usually have it in my car on in my purse...

Well, this past Friday I did not take my camera with me. And oh boy how I regret it.
The thing is. We had girls night out. 5 crazy, sexy , cool Estonian girls gone wild. IT was night to remember. We went to Shark Club. It was my first time to go to that club. My fave Night club around here was Club Vegas, but they closed it down. So we went to Shark Club. They have a shark tank in middle of club and 2 dance areas and plenty of room to dance...
In club we found out that It was ASIAN night. ANd let me tell you- they did not lie. It really was 90% of Asians in this club.
Luckily I was smart enough and got us Bottle service area( VIP)- 5 girls, bottle of absolut vodka and unlimited amount of juice. ... To be honest I still can't remember some of the things happened on that night, but I do remember that THIS night was the most fun I have had for a very LOOONG time. We met some cool people, danced like we never danced before, and woke up next morning wondering ( I am talking to myself) hurting all over my body.

Honestly, for a while I thought that someone had spiked my drink, because I had way to much energy and I COULD not sit down calmly, I was like energizer bunny just kept going and going and going... And then I crashed... Very weird....
Luckily I was not the one who had to drive. I spent a night at my friends house and enjoyed GREAT SPICY breakfast that her husband made.( when I have hangover JUst give me bottle of tabasco).

OK. i am not going to get into details, but I WISH WE HAD CAMERA with us.

Tana kirjutan ma Eesti keeles/ todays blog in Estonian

2008-05-27T21:20:00.000-07:00

Kalli sobranna Mairega ja Abikaasa Nickiga :)
Yup, tana naerdi my yle Regina koolis. Emad soovisid mulle tagantjargi onne ja ytlesid et ma olen veel taitsa beebi oma 30 aastaga. Oleks pidanud ennast nagu taitsa hasti tundma, kuid enamus lapsevanemaid on juba meie 600 lapselises koolis neljakymne ja vanemad. On kyll moned taitsa noored emad, kuid neid on vahe.

Yldiselt hakatakse siin laste peale motlema umbes 35selt.
Orange county on omaette ooper. No muidugi oleneb kus Orange countys sa ka elad. Lahemale Ookeanile, seda rohkem korgklassi draamat, kui aga rannast eemale soita tuleb ette taitsa monusaid gangsta alasid... Kus mina aga elan on vaga super hea suburb. Laguna niguel on umbes 70 000 inimesega pere rajoon. Rahalised kiirteed on lahedal, ta valine Highway 5 on lahedal--koik on fucking kae ja jala ulatuses. Moni vaidleb vastu et Laguna Niguel on igav ja nome, kuid tavaliselt on need vaidlejad lastetud linnavurled, kes on harjunud ooklubide lahedal elama. Jah, Laguna niguel on toesti Planeeritud pere linnake. muidugi on see tais vaikeseid armsaid bubikesi ja ka paar ooklubi, kuid kui tahame ikka nii oelda mollu panna siis peaksime Laguna Beachile soitma ( umbes 19 min), voi siis newport beach/ Costa mesa umbes 20 minutit. ma ei hadalda. Tunnen end meie Varavavahtidega communitys taitsa turvaliselt. Naabri magamistoa aknast saan kohe sisse vaadata kui tahtmine tuleb, kuid mida ma neid ikka vahin ;) Naabrite asemel naudin aga ilusat vaadet oma magamistoa aknast. Voi siis alumise korruse peretoast ( kes mul kylas on kainud teavad millest raagin).
Miks ma aga koigest sellest kirjutan.... .Minult on ysna tihti kysitud et kus ma siis elan, ja kuidas ma elan, ja kellega ma elan. Kysijale suupihta aga ei looda . Kui teile aga vastus ei meeldi, siis allrighty,..
Elan hasti. Pole kodukana, kuna vahihaige lapse eest hoolitsemine on taiskohaga too, samuti olen oma abikaasale palgaline Sekretar asjaajaja ( Poltsamaalt saadud sekretar asjaajaja eriala ikka vaja ka ju harjutada). Toopaev algab hommikul kell 6 ja loppeb ohtul 11. Kool algab lastel 7.40. Kool saab labi 2.10. Selle aja sisse mahuvad "errands". Kahjuks disaineri poodides shoppamine EI ole yks mu erranditeks, kuna keeldun raha kulutamast ajuvabale rampsule.

Kella poole kolmest algab mul lastega kodu too, siis kokkamine, Reginale rohud, siis vannitamine, ja siis uneaeg. Minu aeg algab kella 8ksast ohtul Siis saan lopuks ennast diivanile potsatada ja rahulikult oma iga ohtust veiniklaasi nautida.

Anyway, ma kirjutaks veel, kuid ei viitsi ennast enam kiita kui tubli ma ikka olen.

Friendship...

2008-05-17T23:49:00.000-07:00

No time for yawning. I am thankful for great friends, great wine and Saturday nights.
BUT who do you consider your real friends? Why is it that sometimes you think somebody is your friend, but that "friend" turns around and stabs you in the back. DO you return this "favor" or you just let it go... After all, we are not in high school anymore ...

A true friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else

Duh..

2008-05-02T22:56:00.000-07:00

First I want to thank you all for checking in once in a while and leaving comments here and there...

It is friday night 11.56 and I am home with kids.. I told my husband to but on his " bachelor" clothes and get OUT... hehe he has been home and practicing piano ALL DAY LONG. GOD, my head is about to explode. I understand that he wants to learn to play, but OH COME ON, give me a break, same ding dong dang ALL DAY LONG.

NOw, it is May. It is my birthday month. I know guys it is hard to believe , but I am STILL under 30, and this fun will last few more days. May 8th will be that horrible day everybody is so afraid off?
WHY? What's wrong about turning 30, 31, 32, etc? Isn't that like , like, like, like so normal, like you like supposed like turn 30 like after 29 like that???( see I am getting nervous myself). YAWN, yawn yawn.

Why I am really posting this is let you know and rise awareness about your wallets, checkbooks, credit cards. I am hoping that at least couple of you will donate some money to Childrens hospital of Los angeles In REgina Tan's honor ( for Brain tumor research). CHLA and Dr Dhall have been amazing with Regina , and I hope , I really do hope that people keep giving , so one day all this money can help to find a cure. And I know you all want to be part of it :)
https://www.kintera.org/site/c.ipINKTOAJsG/b.3882839/apps/ka/sd/donorcustom.asp?kntaw30544=02A2822999C24B42872E2E3E26BCD73D

Anyway, Happy upcoming birthday to me. I will celebrate it in Persian restaurant in Encino ( 70 miles from Laguna), since I just feel like it. :)
OK. It is now 11.11 and my husband is still not home....

Who we really are??

2008-04-26T22:34:00.000-07:00

I feel pretty, oh so pretty... heheh. Oh come on Diana, get a grip. Regina told you POSe and you struck a cheesiest pose possible. BOOOOOO. All I really want to do is but on a goth outfit and scare neighborhood kids.....

TB test results.

2008-04-23T21:12:00.000-07:00

It is about 20 mm radius circle. And very itchy. It is positive, but SINCE i DID have those weird immune system jeopardizing vaccines at early age, it was expected. I had an x ray , and it showed that I still had mu lungs in there..hehe

Now I have to stop stressing about life issues.

Today one of the worst thoughts came to my head. It is so horrible it made me cry. If you are ready to read something really disturbing then go ahead, but if you wanna have a good night/day, then leave now... I warned you.

" I do not want to have feeling". I do not want to feel pain, I do not want to worry about Regina, I wish I never felt The love towards her. IT is so hard for me to deal with her being sick and me not knowing what's going to happen tomorrow... Or even later today.
Wha if cancer comes back? I do not want to be damaged! How selfish of me to even think like this? It is just not normal. I wish there was written book about Feelings for Dummies, when your child has brain tumor/cancer.

Yuck...

2008-04-22T20:53:00.000-07:00

I mentioned while ago that I applied for volunteering position in ST. Joseph Hospice care. Well, before that I had to fill out whole bunch of paperwork, that pretty much meant that I AM NOT ALLOWED TO ACCEPT ANY GIFTS from my patients. heh. Not a big deal, I am not doing it because i want something out of it, I applied because I want to help.
My guess is that there are people who do it because they want to get something out of it ( like will , or gifts)/ Anyway, I kind of felt like I was not trusted with my intentions and it did hurt a little. :( Then, second thing I had to do was Tuberculosis test.. Not a big deal. Righs? Just a tiny poke and then wait 48 hours and go back to doctors for a reading.
My issue is... I have been tested positive before and I had TONS of x rays taken over the course of my Elementary years and they all were ok, but tests always turned out positive, OR false positive..
Ok, I had this test done on Monday. Today testing site is BURNING red and raised and itches as hell. I never had such a bad reaction. I am littlebit worried. IF I had tuberculosis I would be coughing my insides out.. Right??? I am really hoping that it is also one of those false results and IF I get an x ray (IF) everything will be ok.

Just waiting...

AIDS- This makes me very sad...

2008-04-09T20:52:00.000-07:00

Some statistics. Estonia is small ( just about 1,3 million people). And give you idea - It takes about 4 hours to drive from one end of Estonia to other...
And I am sure if I find 2007 statistics, percentage is even larger. This is not good. not good at all

http://www.avert.org/eurosum.htm

UNAIDS estimates that HIV prevalence among adults exceeds 1% in Estonia, Ukraine, Moldova and Russia.⁵

Eastern European country	HIV diagnoses in 2006	Rate per million in 2006	Cumulative total, end 2006	Adult HIV prevalence 2005²
Armenia	66	21.9	429	0.1%
Azerbaijan	242	28.6	965	0.1%
Belarus	733	75.6	7,747	0.3%
Estonia	668	504.2	5,731	1.3%
Georgia	276	62.2	1,156	0.2%
Kazakhstan	1,745	117.8	7,402	0.1%
Kyrgyzstan	244	45.8	1,070	0.1%
Latvia	299	130.3	3,631	0.8%
Lithuania	100	29.3	1,200	0.2%
Republic of Moldova	621	148.0	3,464	1.1%
Russian Federation†	39,207	275.1	369,187	1.1%
Tajikistan	204	31.0	710	0.1%
Turkmenistan	0	0.0	2	<0.1%
Ukraine†	13,256	288.3	91,057	1.4%
Uzbekistan	2,205	81.7	10,015	0.2%
Total	59,866	-	503,766	0.8%

health as it is...

2008-04-04T20:13:00.000-07:00

oh wow.. I have been taking allergy medications to stop me dying here.... Oh wow, Sneezing, itchy and watery eyes, stuffy nose, headaches, blurry vision, painful yaws...... Oh gawd.. Help me. My immune system is compromised by Crazy global warming California weather. One day HOT, then cold, then warm, then colder, then super hot again and then foggy...
Thanks Kathy for great advice. Nausea has passed- NO , I am not Pregnant... Just suffering from sort of weird condition. Uh, but so what?? Henry's has all kinds of natural remedies to help me cope with whatever I have, and even temporary relief is very welcome by me. If Estonia was bigger, then this ALl natural herbs could be huge business there, because you can pick ALL the herbs from nature , you just have to know what herbs they are...
Anyway. Spring brake has started and our family will start Road trip to Yosemite. I hope it brings some much needed relief and peace to our lives. :)

WHAT THE F IS WRONG WITH ME??

2008-03-29T15:18:00.000-07:00

I just recovered from fuckin' flu. I was fine for 10 days. ONLY 10 DAYS??/ Thats all I get ?
Yesterday I went to bed 10.15 PM. And I woke up this morning 9 AM with a banging headache and nausea ... and swollen tonsils and ringing in my ears. Am I damned because I wrote badly about our health care system? Or Is it because people ask me why I am so anti Estonian( which I am not, or kind of I am uh whateva) Anyway, I am sick again and it feels like there is this huge rock tied to my chest.... Peppermint tea, camomille tea, echinasea tea or however you spell this anyway., vitamins, more camomille more peppermint, more fish and apples and gallons of water and chicken noodle soup. Oh I feel crappidy crappy .....

Oh..

2008-03-15T19:32:00.000-07:00

I am this point in my life , I have no point...lol. I can't stand stupid drama or backstabbing. It is fun for a while, but really.. Who cares... I can't stand living in past and hearing comments like- But when I lived there, but this is how things were done back then.... WHo the fuck cares how things were done 10 years ago... We should care how things should be done NOW. How to improve imperfections.. All I want is to people to take step back, breathe in and out- GO shop in burlington "goat" factory and drink some red "whine".. and then start thinking.

You know what drives me insane the most? If you do not care, I am still telling you.
I am pissed with American health system. I am thankful for all the great doctors and nurses. And I think when America gets universal heatcare, our health will go downhill from there....

Anyway. We pay our taxes- LOTS OF TAXES... Property tax for our family is almost 9000 dollars per year. And we get this bill sometimes in End of December. Not happy. But we want to live in this big $ 3700 dollars per month for 32 years kind of house..., 1000 dollars for utilities, ( trash , gas, electricity, water, exterminator, gardener, community fees...etc.
700 dollars for food... AND our paycheck is gone.... GONE with a wind...

And then we get monthly medical bills- sometimes 500 dollars, sometimes 5000 dollars. Our february bill was 3000 dollars. We still have not payed it. They send us warning that they will send collectors into our house blah blah blah.... Who cares...

... Now... Every time I go to CHLA I ask from different people and families about their medical bills- Family from Iraq- they have been CHLA patients for over a year, THEY DO NOT HAVE TO PAY A PENNY FOR ANYTHING!!! Not even for a living. Luckily our great government takes care of them and makes sure they are safe and healthy.... Oh, I forgot to mention- Wife has 2 mercedeses, one BMW, and some other car she was very proud about.....

Family from mexico ( not all of them are that lucky)... pays nothing- because they know how to work this system...

Family from America- gets bills, cries and pays the bills...

Family from Russia- NON. they pay nothing NOt even a penny... Americans take care of them.

I know, not everybody gets this superior treatment... BUT if family from america drives BMW, lives in a great house.. Makes 100 000 dollars per year... and can handle lifestyle they live... And then add medical bills... life is over..
I often hear people say.. Oh, they drive a great car, they must have lot of money... yeah,, we have money to handle our "regular" expenses, but it does not include monthly extras like medical bills, emotional support, doctors appointments because health issues due stress...

Why can't America take care our OUR children first and then somebody else? Who the fuck are they trying to impress? the whole world--- LOOK, I took care of your health over our countries health..

Diana is mad and upset and ready to explode...

Nahhh...blog that makes no sense

2008-02-03T19:26:00.000-08:00

For a while I though I am going to close this blog, because I got sick of my negative side. I disgusted myself with my own negativity.. Not me at all..
I thought about it for a minute and said to myself.... So what? There is nice side to all of us and mostly we show that pretty side... but I know 100 percent ,that all of us also have that nasty i know it all side, and since most of us want to stay safe we only smile and nod and walk away from drama..

I have been watching Bad Girls Club( or whatever that show was), and I was watching that show with dropped jaw( I think it hit the floor......), and disbelief. HOW could anybody behave the way girls behaved in that show. It was purely disgusting.

They were spitting in food, peeing on countetops and sinks, getting drunk and wasted and yuck....

YOu know. I love to party once in a while. I like to get drunk once in a while. I know I look like fool and my face looks pretty screwed up... but There is no excuse for me to start a fight when I am drunk, or disrespect people.. But I am not drinking every night, I am not drinking for breakfast, for lunch or dinner.... When things really get out of hand? Why people start wanting to drink for brakfast? Why they feel like they can't stop drinking? WHat is their excuse? When does addictions start? IF I have glass of whine once a day during dinner- does it mean I am alcoholic? If I do not drink for couple of weeks, does it mean I am in remission and then after couple of weeks I had a drink I relapsed??
I am talking about it because - seems like "everybody" is checking in to rehabs. Is it next in thing to do to get publicity? Do I need publicity, attention? Should I check into rehab only because I really love my once in a while glass of wine and feel like I am addicted to cheese and wine? Is there addiction clinic for Cheese lovers? Because I like cheese on everything.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZHBkC-dayg

One...

2007-12-22T13:08:00.000-08:00

One Tamale, 2 tamales 3 tamales- MORE, 4 tamales, 5 tamales , 6 tamales- I CAN't eat no more..
Today Padres organization came to 4th floor and cooked lunch for all of us. My love to tamales is sickening. I could eat them and eat them until I am ready to throw up. I can't say no to GOOD HOMEMADE TAMALES- this time they had 3 different types of tamales, El Salvadore'an, Mexican, and some other tamales with pinaple junks in it. IT WAS HEAVENLY. I had 5 of them. I just ate like I never seen food before. They also had some soup, that was very flavorful and had some kind of beans in it, but I was not sure what kinds. It was one of the best Spanish food lunches I have had for a long while. Thanks again to those who made it possible. :)

Those trashy Estonians...

2007-12-06T15:04:00.001-08:00

OMG..lol Perez Hilton wrote about Estonia (ns)lol

http://perezhilton.com/?p=10076

I had no idea...

2007-11-08T09:43:00.000-08:00

This is email I found in my ebox this morning... I am sure most of you have got some kind of penis mail, but I HAD NO IDEA I had a penis...?? How did I miss it???

Research has revealed that your p -e _nis has the ability to grow beyond its current size

My sister...

2007-10-28T17:24:00.000-07:00

GUESS WHAT , GUESS WHAT!!!!!!
My sister is coming to visit me for 13 days.WOHOWHOOO. I know, I know, 13 days is short time, but at least she can come and help me out , while my DH makes us some money, so I can spend a whole day in the spa...;) She will land on 11th of November and fly back to Estonia on November 23rd.

I am BAAACK...

2007-10-26T19:59:00.000-07:00

BEFORE....
AND AFTER :)

Yah.. I am bjak.
It has been pretty intense few weeks. Honestly, Life in Ronald McDonald house is pure rehab. No drinking, I need a drink...... I am not smoking, so what smoking is allowed. Should I start again?.. At least I will start saying no to macadamia nut cookies. ( I LOVE COOKIES).. Somebody bring me a bottle of TURI vodka , I really need it. DANG.. I need drinking buddies... AND I really need to get my fat ass to gym. I wanna go, but I really do not feel like it.. I want to loose weight, but what does it really matter, if I am going to gain it back afterwards??? hmh? I am not ready for LIFESTYLE change... blah blah blah... ALL I need is one LONG night in nightclub with girls, drinking Martinis and listening latest club beats... like Gimme me more...lollollol...
More what?? Cookies??? cakes?? Spider cupcakes, candy corn?? gummy spiders?? YUCK.. sugar overload here..... ok, nuff that...

Also, I really need to see chiropractic.. My back , neck is sooo stiff and painful. And to top it off, my latest trend is to have nightly headaches... It is starting to get annoying... ( sorry, for complaining about my silly issues, when people are loosing their homes due to fire in ca).
Air quality sucks, we are breathing in junks of dust... It still has not rained, WE are stuck here in LA due to Reginas LOW counts... And add more to the story, WE HAVE TO STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE UNTIL REGINAS ANC IS AT LEAST 500.... Which will happen about in 5 days...

BUT I have to admit. I am so thankful to my good friend Julee, who did my hair. She did extraordinary job cutting and coloring. My hair never looked better. ;) Thanks JULEE...

Robyn 'Handle Me'

2007-10-09T08:47:00.001-07:00

What a day..

2007-09-20T22:34:00.000-07:00

I am tired of being nice..lol Back to my PMS mode..

Anyway, today was one crappy happy day. It started out 8 am . After I dropped my car to get brakes fixed I was told that sensors has to be fixed, and this and that and overall your car is crap right now.... And I ended paying 780 dollars for brakes, oil changes, filter changes, more oil changes and some other stuff. Engine oil was kind of black so I thought - WTF, Lets just spend some money here. ANd air filter looked discusting - again my first thought was - WTF have I been breathing in the whole time. yuck....
After 3 hours in some ecno or whatever I went to see my doctor because I have enlarged lymph nodes and I have been hysterically stressed about them ( of course my dh has no clue what to say). SO there I go to see my doctor. Sadly he was not in. There was someone else covering for him. Someone I do not like very much especially If I see that someone first time....
She looks at me, touches my neck. asks me to blow my nose, checks my ears, tonsils, asks me to say AAAAAA and then checks something on his digital medical book- HMh. HEr response-
DRY mouth is side effect of your Celexa - ( thank you very much, but I have been on it for a while and I have been doing greatm thank you very much again).
HMH. OK. YOU have enlarged lymph nodes ( I think I told her that first place). There are 2 reasons why you have them. First- You most likely had some upper respiratory infection that has not cleared up, OR you had recent acne break out ( of course she was hinting to my big zit sitting on my for head).
Honestly- I wanted to smack her and tell her- LOOK Lady, My lymph node is fuckin painful,and I feel like I need to drink up whole ocean... And you are telling me that my ZIT is causing my lymph node to grow that fast that painful..

BUT instead I asked- SO what to you recommend??? Try some zhitromax and if your lymph nodes are still swollen in 2 weeks come back and we are going to take a closer look. MY first panicy first thought was- OMG I WILL BE DEAD IN 2 weeks because you are curing my cancer with acne medication... But then I came to my senses and told myself.- Just calm down diana... She is just doctors assistand.. It is not her fault if I die before 2 weeks is up... .hahah.

Anyway, right now I am hoping that that lump goes away and I can live happily ever after and I do not have to come back from " other side" and haunt her .....

Then we had Ronald McDonald meeting. Kinds of like- How is RMDH helped you while your kids are seeking treatment. In general I like RMDH. It is close to hospital , great kids library, allrighty kitchen, lots of magazines to read, bed full of bed bugs and roaches... and few rats... ( outside, I seen them). AND i told them that I hate 24 hour rule, and I told them that they should change it... So I am hoping they are at least thinking about working out some kind of plan with hospital to monitor who is on treatment, those can stay away for longer and who is off treatment have to check in in 24( compromize).. But then Few spanish families started complaning about 4 family rule. They want AT LEAST 5 if not six, and they want to house visitors and so on... I wanted to stand up and tell her- LOOK LADies and Gentlemen- how is housing 6 people under those conditions is going to help your kid???? But I kept my mouth shut,,, I just YAAAWWWNNEEEDD... And end of meeting I got 20 dollar vons gift certificate- I made 20 dollars today. :) WOHOOOO.
Right now I can not fall asleep because I got mild fever and I am trying to stay awake to see if it goes away ... AND I never had DZ, but after seeing what they have to offer , I dream about it...

Enough bad stuff...

2007-09-18T11:34:00.000-07:00

I decided that I become an angel and NEVER even talk trash about other people... never ever everever ( YEAH, right, like that ever going to happen haha).
But todays blog is about things I like( Most of you know that I love my family, so I am not going to talk about them). This post is entirely about products I love.

Since I love make up I have tried way to many different brands and there are still way to many to go.. But I absolutely love Sheer Cover BASE PERFECTOR.
http://www.sheercover.com/ I currently switched from Bare Minerals to Sheer Cover and I LOVE SHEER COVER SO MUCH MORE. Their products are much more gentle on skin and give awesome coverage. This is link with Bare Minerals. http://www.bareminerals.com/

I also loved Sheer Cover mascara - AWESOME PRODUCT. I love that it does not stain my lids and when I wash it , it comes off in clumps, instead of tinting my whole face black.

FOr eye make up base I love Lancome product. It is very silky and creamy. I just apply to my eye before I apply make up and it keeps my make up in place for whole day. very good product. :)
http://www.lancome-usa.com/makeup/eyeshadow/aquatique.htm

Thanks to Kathy Now I am hooked to Crabtree-Evelin rosewater body wash.
http://store.crabtree-evelyn.com/148-ros36930011.html

I like that it is not overpowering and my skin smells and feels fresh all day long. I also use their perfumes which are sweet but not over powering sweet. :) LOVE IT... Thanks Kathy.:)

OH, I have to go,, regina is asking for Lunch... She want to have spagetti with marinara sauce..

Di

I am not sure...

2007-08-29T22:00:00.000-07:00

what happened to My PMS. I do not have PMS at all. I feel peace. Nothing bugs me, ( besides my own stupid issues like fat ass and acne covered face).
I look like I need a serious face lift and More I walk around In LA area, I do need bigger boobs and more fat in my belly area..... Just thought I let you know.....

I need something , but I am not sure what I need. I want to do things, but I can not start anything. I want people act NORMAL around me. I am so tired everybody being careful what they are saying or suggesting... Oh dang it... Life goes on no matter what is going on in our lives. If I can deal with it , so can you....

I want to feel like Diana again.

2007-08-08T22:44:00.000-07:00

I think I am going through middle age crisis. ( Yes at age 29). I am not sure what I want or who I am. All I know is I want world peace and cure for cancer. Cure for cancer first and then world peace.. I think.
OK. It has been very emotional almost couple of months for us. I still can not believe that Regina relapsed. I look at her and It just does not sound right. She looks great, she acts great, she is smarter and sharper than before, she still does not like to read much and Math is her fave subject. She LOVES high school musical and Hanna Montana and Suite life with Zack and cody. SHE loves dancing and singing. SHE LOVES playing with barbies and Bratz ( I HATE BRATZ, but for her I have to love them). I just got her new Bratz dvd Bratz kids sleepover ,( I think). NOW she is requesting me to redecorate her room in Hannah montana style... HUH??? I ask.... HANNAH MONTANA.. what the heck happened to princesses - She tells me- Mommy, I still love princesses, but it is time for change.. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY REGINA??? SHE IS GROWING UP. H E L P. Next thing I know she will be asking belly ring and mohawk ( spelling). ANd before I can turn around she comes home and tells me she is wants to run away.. because I suck as a mother..... To I think to much ahead??? But that is all I can do right now.. THINK and guess and speculate ... Oh, I hate my life. I truly do. Seriosly- Why can't I be 6 foot brazilian victoria Secret beauty with flawless skin and beautiful long legs??? Again- That is not much to ask... I know In my past life I was british street musician ... Now I am suffering mom.. Next life there better be something good for me or I will scream...

Oh.. I just emailed my friend Kathy about my tonight coctail... Do not laugh. I have not had a drink for a while because drinking is big NO NO in CHLA( childrens hospital of Los Angeles) so here is drink for Today-- 1 scoop of slim fast powder, 2 oz of wodka, 7 oz of cranberry juice 4-5 pieces of frozen pinapple . BLENDER- ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ until it all looks nice and foamy and them VOILAA. Slimming and energizing drink all at once:) Trust me, It tastes DELISIOSO...

OK. Now I am going to sleep because tomorrow is another day.

AND ALL OF YOU. GO visit LA. Check out West coast estonian days. IT IS HUGE festival that celebrates estonian arts . It will be fun..... Check out this link .

http://lep2007.com/eng/?page_id=3

I am sorry..

2007-07-20T19:04:00.001-07:00

I am truly sorry that I have left this blog kind of hanging...
Truth is- I can't find anything negative to say at this moment. I could talk about how cancer sucks and how , sleeping in hospital bed night after night sucks.
What I can say is.. I will be back after I inhale some negativity from somewhere and I'll be back..
Well, I should have something Negative to say actually. Reginas story was published in one Estonian Newspaper ( well, it is US kind of newspaper, full of gossip and daily Estonian news) It also has online Version. For me it was little bit strange to read comments where people commented things like- Gabriel Austin got his name because Mom and Dad had sex in backseat of Austin Martin???? Or.. Perverts- they radiated their daughter, or the best comment of all- what a Stupid brainless housewife I am. Most likely after my 15 minutes of fame....

Comments like that just make me roll my eyes... roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll....
But I was also surprised by all the great caring comments. :) Thank you . I did not contact newspaper . They contacted me, and I just wanted share Reginas story, because I feel that she is incredible fighter and strong spirit. Yes, she is INCREDIBLY spoiled, but why not spoil her to pieces... We even feed her lol.. Just regina... lol She is true Princess here.... ;)

Cancer sucks...

2007-07-03T20:32:00.000-07:00

I am sorry, dear friends that I have left this very important blog kind of hanging ....
The truth is, I have lots to write about, but since C A N C E R is very touchy subject, I will not touch it... All I can say.. cancer sucks. PEDIATRIC cancer sucks. What would you do if doctors tell you- your daughter/son has only about 2 months to live? ANd they pretty much tell you to give up hope... There is nothing much you can do??? Would you give up because you want to listen to doctors??

NO NO NO.. If there was rehab for losers , somebody would make huge amounts of money by now...

We are not giving up. We are doing EVERYTHING we can Before we give up. And I hope we never have to give up. We found doctor in CHLA who is filling to but Regina on high ( very intensive chemo). If tumors start shrinking, she will be hit with even higher doses of chemo than first round. Downside is-- chemo might be too strong for her and she may pass away during her treatments... But if tumors start shrinking then WOHOOOOOOOOHOOOOHOOOOO. But if we do not try- will we ever find out... so why not!!! We have to try .
Also, We have started her on some very expensive Chinese natural meds ( mushroom) , It is about 60 year old mushroom and Lb pricee is 600 dollars. It should be enought tea for 13 weeks.. Hopefully it also helps...

And yesterday I was introduced to hyperbaric oxygen therapy. That benefit her while her immune system has failed... You know, there is so much out here , and I am learning more and more every day. As stupid it sounds, I am amazed what we can do with natural medications to our daughter, but again. We have to combine it with contemporary meds for maximum effects.

Then on thursday Regina will meed traditional Chinese medicine doctor and she will make personalized plan for her. :) Very very cool!!!

There is HOPE. We are not giving up, and nether should you...

PRAY FOR REGINA

2007-06-23T23:16:00.001-07:00

REgina is fighting hard for her life right now. Her tiny smart brain is filled with multiple tiny tumors that grow minute by minute. I was told that we are leaving hospital and take her home next week to make her last few months as comfortable as possible . I was told that chemo will not work this time even thought some oncologists may recommend it.
I wrote little more in my Life as it is blog http://www.diana78.blogspot.com

PRAY FOR A MIRACLE TO HAPPEN!!!!!!!

Regina and Co.

Keep everything crossed...

2007-06-15T22:30:00.001-07:00

I just finished filling out my resume online. YES, I am job hunting. It is about time. lol I am 29 and done being stay at home administrative assistant/mom/cleaning lady/chef/carpenter- It is time to update my resume.... Now, just keep everything crossed because I have been rejected way to many times- Bed, bath and beyond, Barnes and Noble, Linen's Things, Maycis.

If costco rejects me, my next step is Trader Joes. I love Trader Joes.!!!!

hihi

2007-06-04T20:14:00.000-07:00

new gyn- I like her.., pap smear, breast exam, pelvic exam, low but health blood pressure, prescription for anti depressants - celexa,, but I got generic brand and got it for free. It is weird... I took my first pill, and all i did was yawn all day long, kind of like I want to throw up , but instead I am going to yawn... haha... Doctro told me not do drink any alcoholic beverages at first, so I know what are side effects.... lol Bummer, and I was hoping to open bottle of whiskey and finish it up.....Yawwwwnnnnn.

ALSO, leila, my good friend Leila thinks I am fat. She does.. How sad is this.. Today she sent me email with Allure Total Makeover ... With this, and slim fast and Celexa , and vegetables I'll be able to drop 10 lbs in 6 weeks... At least I am hoping so....
http://www.allure.com/user/makeover/login

Dinner in a glass...

2007-06-03T20:17:00.000-07:00

5 mini carrots
4-5 grape tomatoes
5 oz tomato juice
5 OZ kefir
about half a cup of ice
tabasco ( as much as you like),
Cilantro

Blend it in a blender.... Oh so refreshing.. SO delicious :):) I'm in a blended , pureed food kick right now. Organic of course.. I even baked 90 % organic cookies. lol...
Few days ago I did clense/detox round, AND OMG. I am FULL on toxins. Headaches, blemishes, more headaches and MOre blemishes, and OF course I have to pick them until they get infected... Oh darn, I have to tie my hands behind my back , so I can stop squeezing...

Now more interesting topic for your ears. My question to you is- DO YOU LIKE YOUR OB/GYN?? Mine decided to become stay at home mom ( she was mine OB for 5 years), and now, tomorrow, I am going to see other GYN in same office. THey have about 10 gynecologist there , so it is hard to choose, but I went with my gut feeling... Anyway, I HATE changing doctors as personal as GYNs. lol Do you know that GYN's will remember your vagina instead of your face... So if you see your GYN second time and she did not recognize you , but then , when you lie there, your privates exposed to this world to see , you hear that" OH, NOW I REMEMBER... haha... do not fall out of your chair.. Just accept the fact that GYNs will remember your privates, dentists will remember you by your teeth, and your oncologist will recognize you by studding your brain scans.... ;)

have a nice JUNE...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY JUNE BIRDS :)

Major PMS..

2007-06-02T21:29:00.000-07:00

Tempting??? Isn't it???

yes, it is that time again... OMG. I can not take my PMS. I absolutely hate it. Mood swings, body breakouts, dizzy spells, "blond"moments.. And weirdest one of them all-- my reactions slow down. I AVOID driving during PMS, because I can't spread my attention , and I get horrible anxiety attacks, and I get those weird hungry spells, but I can not keep my food down.. YUCK..
BUT what is strange about my PMS period , is that I get this kind of feelings every other month. Right now I cant keep my food down, BUT next month, I will eat everything onsite... EVERYTHING. So Now I rather deal with acne than gain weight...lol

Now about my slim fast. :) YUMMM. This is what I did with my slim fast today.
1 scoop slim fast powder
1/2cup ice
1 banana
4 oz orange juice
4 oz prune juice
3 oz carrot juice
2 strawberries...
I blended it in blender and YUMMOOOOOOO , so fullfilling. SOOO GOOD. AND for my surprize it really took my hunger away for 5 hours... I love slim fast :)

ARE they for REAL???

2007-06-02T15:24:00.000-07:00

Please tell me, this website is joke.. It can't be real.. I know people eat exotic animals but THIS??? Pet lovers,,, very disturbing...

http://www.petsorfood.com/recipes.shtml

Trans, saturated and other fats...

2007-05-31T21:04:00.000-07:00

Today I was kind of bored and decided to find entertainment by getting more info about FATS. Now I know why my cholesterol is fine. I just use foods that are low of all bad fats. I really did not read labels that much- I just checked cal content and general fat content, but if it had trans fats or saturated fats or other fats,, I just did not... I have been eating Healthy all along, BUT just giant amounts. My foods are 98% trans fat free. Which is good, since trans fat, like saturated fat and dietary cholesterol, raises the LDL cholesterol that increases your risk for CHD.(coronary heart disease). STAY AWAY FROM MARGARINE......

Following is copied from FDA website.. Very informative...

Here are some practical tips you can use every day to keep your consumption of saturated fat, trans fat, and cholesterol low while consuming a nutritionally adequate diet.

Check the Nutrition Facts panel to compare foods because the serving sizes are generally consistent in similar types of foods. Choose foods lower in saturated fat, trans fat, and cholesterol. For saturated fat and cholesterol, keep in mind that 5 percent of the Daily Value (%DV) or less is low and 20 percent or more is high. (There is no %DV for trans fat.)
Choose alternative fats. Replace saturated and trans fats in your diet with monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats. These fats do not raise LDL cholesterol levels and have health benefits when eaten in moderation. Sources of monounsaturated fats include olive and canola oils.Sources of polyunsaturated fats include soybean oil, corn oil, sunflower oil and foods like nuts.
Choose vegetable oils (except coconut and palm kernel oils) and soft margarines (liquid, tub, or spray) more often because the combined amount of saturated fat and trans fat is lower than the amount in solid shortenings, hard margarines, and animal fats, including butter.
Consider fish. Most fish are lower in saturated fat than meat. Some fish, such as mackerel, sardines, and salmon, contain omega-3 fatty acids, which are being studied to determine if they offer protection against heart disease.
Choose lean meats, such as poultry without the skin and not fried and lean beef and pork, not fried, with visible fat trimmed.
Ask before you order when eating out. A good tip to remember is to ask which fats are being used in the preparation of your food when eating or ordering out.
Limit foods high in cholesterol such as liver and other organ meats, egg yolks, and full-fat dairy products, like whole milk.
Choose foods low in saturated fat such as fat free or 1% dairy products, lean meats, fish, skinless poultry, whole grain foods, and fruits and vegetables.

Now, I love food ( you know it), and I can eat. I have eaten to a point that I threw up and then continued eating ( just some kind of chemical imbalance in my brain was shut off, and I did not get fullness sensation ..but that is long story... and happened while ago...

I can still eat to a point to a throwing up, BUT I have learned to recognize signs of fullness ( which is ONE OF THE HARDEST things to do). BUT my issue is, I still overeat and I do not feel full. I can consume about 6000 -7000 cals in one sitting and still eat, eat eat.. VERY frustrating... but anyway...
I am happy to let you know that I am on track again. I started loosing this week. I started slim fast plan, and it keeps my full . What I do to make it more appealing.
I take 1/2 cup frozen organic raspberries, 1/2cup water, 1/2 cup carrot juice , littlebit of ice, i tablespoon of extra fiber, and I blend it. OH SO JUMMY. Sometimes I use fresh bananas, fresh strawberries, carrots, apples, or mix all of them, and OMG. It is best meal ever. ALl nutrients I need in one cup. :) YUMMMMMMM...

Hopefully, ( if I do not fall off the track) I will be in my "yellow polka dot bikini " in 3 weeks ;)

dumb@$$

2007-05-30T21:59:00.000-07:00

I'm such a dumbasssss. I really am. You know. I have not smoked since February. I DID REALLY GOOD, but then i got this giant urge to smoke. Not sure why, but probably because I am slowly getting ready for our July Mempis trip. Smoking in Mempis is a M U S T ... Gaining weight in Memphis Is a double must...

SO natural flow of things is- stop smoking -> gain weight-> start smoking-> gain more weight -> stop smoking AND NEVER START AGAIN.
I smoked 4 cigs in 2 days, and I got so sick I threw up. It was bad, really bad,,, and I just GOT My complexion under control, I was clean and clear, and because of those 4 stinky butts , my face and chest are covered with ugly white heads. SICK. sick, sick..

But yeah.. I am at this point right now. I can't stop eating. It is horrible, and now , that I am getting older ( DON"T LAUGH), it is so much harder for me to loose weight. Couple of years ago, I gained, I lost, I gained I lost . No big deal, but now, I am not sure what to do do boost my metabolism. I have been eating healthy foods, 90 % foods are organic, not processed. And there is that 10% that is still processed... Like ketchup, and other canned things I have to use once in a while... But I CAN't Loose what I am eating in. It stuck like glue in my middle section. IT IS NOT LEAVING ME. I hate it, I truly do. And part of this weight gain is due to my not smoking part. BUT I can't start again. I can't. It is just wrong. :( I rather gain few pounds and complain about it, but NO MORE SMOKING.
Shame on me for doing those 4 cigs. Bad Diana, No cookie for you tonight, just peanut brownie.

FOTO project...

2007-05-28T20:12:00.000-07:00

Nii, tana kirjutan siis jalle Eesti keeles. On 28s Mai. Regina ajuoperatsioonist on moodas tapselt 3 aastat. Jah, Mai 28, 2004 opereeriti Reginal ajust halvaloomuline kasvaja. Tanu St Jude Children's Research haigla arstidele ja odedele On Regina terve ja tugev :) Aitahh..
Tana otsustasin vaheke jalle lilli pildistada. Panin yles omatehtud valge shadow boxi ja lilled sisse ning CLICK, CLICK. Avastasin,et ei pea sadu dollareid kulutama et taitsa hea kvaliteediga pilte teha. Muidugi, hea fotokas peab olema, kuid see on juba teine lugu... Koige muuga saab improviseerida. :)
Lisan ka siis moned fotod...

2007-05-24T19:20:00.000-07:00

Lets talk about cuisine. I am hungry. I have been dieting for couple of days, since my size 13 pants ( largest I have been in 4 years), did not want to fit me anymore. :(:(:(
I am big Russian food lover. Just simplicity of foods and flavor. Nothing to overpowering. ( Kind of like Estonian, ;) ).
I was just watching Extra , and they were talking about this amazing new restaurant in LA. It is called Romanov, and it serves "international" food with contemporary kick. ... I add this place to my "To do" list. :) Who wants to go there with me ????
http://www.romanovla.com/

I am also big Mexican food lover. Now, I am not taco or burrito person - BUT HOME MADE Tamales, and REAL, Enchiladas - OMG. YOu got to be kidding me.. That is my kind of comfort food...

I love food, and I'd be lying to you if I tell you that Dieting is easy. :( Now, that I have not smoked a sig for over 4 months ( I think), food tastes so much better, aroma, flavor, more aroma.... Oh, ..( can you tell, I am hungry , as I am typing this???, I just opened bottle of red wine, and I am so fucking screwed , because I cant enjoy food with it. ( I thought if one of my Best friends can do it, I can do it,,, NO eating after 6 PM ; ) ),.... It sucks not to EAT, what I want to eat, when I want to eat......... BAAAAAA

HMH.

2007-05-23T19:46:00.000-07:00

Is it me , or is it me..
Past few days I have been checking out Estonian Real Estate. I just want to know what is available and what is price range. You know what sucks. Prices are pretty good- with 3-4 million estonian crons(about 300 000 dollars , I can have pretty good 300 sq/ft house, with GIANT back/front yard. But drawback is, most of houses are NMS. I am picky. Very picky. I am just not very happy with layouts, material choices, heating/cooling systems. etc. IF I ever move back and Decide to buy house in ESTONIA. I end up spending extra 200 000 dollars to just make house fit my standards..

Just a thought...

'nuf said

2007-05-22T20:24:00.000-07:00

Estonia is situated in Northern Europe, on the coast of the Baltic Sea, neighbouring Finland, Sweden, Latvia and Russia. It is a country with 1.4 million people, which attracts more than 3 million visitors annually.
Dates from Estonian history ( from MOFA website- Ministry Of Foreign Affairs)
02 May 2005

In the area that now forms present-day Estonia, the first settlements occurred some 11,000 years ago, after the ice cap retreated.

13th century, first half.
During the 12th century the Baltic region had been in the hands of the Teutonic Knights. Estonia was incorporated into Christendom at the beginning of the 13th century, under the pressure of crusaders from Germany and Denmark.

14th century.
In the Baltic region, power was now in the hands of the Hanseatic League. Several Estonian towns and cities belonged to the League, including Tallinn (Reval), which had received its city charter as early as 1248.

16th century, first half.
The Reformation reaches Estonia, which from then on remained a part of the Lutheran cultural space.

16th century, second half - 17th century.
From 1558 onwards, Estonia became the battleground for a war involving Denmark, Sweden, Russia and Poland. Sweden came out as winner, and Estonia remained under her sphere of influence until the beginning of the 18th century. During Swedish rule, the first university in Estonia was founded at Tartu in 1632.

18th century.
The Great Northern War left Estonia under Russian rule (1721). Estonia became a window through which Peter the Great wished to gain access to Europe.

19th century.
The winds of numerous national movements blow through the whole of Europe. In Estonia, the period of national awakening commences. In 1862, a national epic "Kalevipoeg" was published. A high point of the Estonian national movement was the first nation-wide Song Festival organised by Johann Voldemar Jannsen and the “Vanemuine” society in Tartu in June 1869.

1918.
On the 24th of February the Estonian Republic was proclaimed. At first this was merely a decision made on paper. True independence was fought for over the period 1918 to 1920, during the War of Liberation. The struggle was crowned with success, and a treaty was finally signed with Soviet Russia, which revoked in perpetuity all claims over Estonia.

1918-1939.
This was the period of the first sovereign republic. During independence, Estonia established diplomatic relations and made its existence felt throughout Europe. Independence was curtailed by the signing of the Pact between Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union in 1939.

1940-1991.
Following the Soviet occupation in 1940, Estonia was occupied by Nazi Germany from 1941 until 1944. The Soviet Union incorporates Estonia in the fall of 1944. A large proportion of the population fled abroad. Many others were arrested and deported to Siberia. Those who remained, had to adjust to a new way of life.

The end of the 20th century.
Estonia succeeded in regaining independence by way of the Singing Revolution of 1988. She has been fully independent once more since 1991.

2004.
Estonia became a NATO member state on 29 March 2004 and a European Union member state on 1 May 2004.

2007-05-18T20:58:00.001-07:00

In a short note- I am not liking me right now. I am not liking new me. I have lost motivation to do things or please others. I do not like even pleasing myself. I strongly dislike may. ANd aI have hated May with passion past 3 years. May 8 - my birthday- Regina was seriously ill, and I was too tough on her. May 26th , 2004, me flying to Estonia, Reginas condition was getting worse, we still had no idea what was going on. May 27, I was flying back to US, Because I was asked to . May 29th I found out that Regina had brain surgery to remove Brain tumor... I Still blame myself for not being there for her every step on the way. I HATE THAT I DID NOT LISTEN TO MY INNER SELF .... I CAN'T STAND FEELING LIKE THIS EVERY YEAR, EVERY MAY... IT IS OVER NOW, what am I afraid off?? I know I cant turn back time and change things around, but it bothers me.... I can't let go... I just cant... It is getting frustrating...

Movie/

2007-05-13T22:11:00.000-07:00

If you have not seen Spiderman 3, go see it. Fun movie.
and Also, DISTURBIA. I went to see this movie with no high expectations, but I was pleasantly surprised how well acted, directed and written this movie was. Full of suspense,. Keeps you interested the whole time :)

Happy Mothers day..

2007-05-13T20:57:00.000-07:00

..or what's left of it :)
We had great mothers day. My dh. is full of surprises. On mothers day morning he told us to dress up because he was going to take us somewhere special :) So after fixing us up, we ran into our car and headed somewhere... And that somewhere was in Balboa Island . Restaurant- Oceanfront 21, where we had very expensive mothers day brunch. FOOD WAS AWESOME!!!! Even kids ate it. lol not to mention- gabriel discovered that crab legs are pretty tasty and dark chocolate cake tasted like it was infused with coffee.. lol he is something else. After our Long and very tasty dinner we headed to fashion island and took a walk, ate ice cream and then went back home, because all that food made us just very sleepy... ;) PLUS I was in some serious root canal pain... that had taken over my whole mouth....

Now... it is 9.03.. kids are in bed, Nick just left to airport and I am here, typing,and watching Desperate housewives.
Kids and Nick did such an awesome job to make my mothers day special. Flowers, cards, helping around house, cleaning up kids toys. etc. days like this just make me smile ....

Also, on Friday night we attended our friends wedding. Very cute wedding. It was in Newport beach on a Yacht called Icon. It was sunset wedding and lasted 3 hours. From 6pm-till10pm . Bride was beautiful, groom was handsome, BUT I had huge problem with what was going on on boat. I was checking out price list for food, and dj, and boat and planners etc. And I was not impressed with it. Food sucked. Stake was overcooked and bitter, time to meet and mingle to short , captain who married Beautiful couple was not belivable. If it was me, I would have complained my ass off, but since it was not my wedding I just smiled and acted all cute :) Congrats to Newlyweds :)

:))

2007-05-09T10:52:00.000-07:00

Happy belated birthday to me. J
We had awesome day. On may 8th, I skipped school and did something extreme .
Few of you know that ocean is one of my biggest fears. I am scared of that big old thing.. Since I am so afraid of it, I decided to do something about it. I booked Captain Dave dolphin safari trip ( dolphin watching) and on Tuesday morning we all headed to Dana point to do this. I was nervous. I was sweating nervous, but I did it. And I am so glad I did. We drove about 8 miles out to ocean and OMG. IT WAS SO BEAUTIUFL. Ocean was quiet , It was so peaceful and beautiful I wanted to cry. And FINALLY we saw them . About 3000 yes , three thousand dolphins. That is not exact number, but close enough. Our captain told us that they have not seen such a sight for couple of years. OMG, dolphins, sea lions , fish , birds… Dolphins trying to play with our boat , trying to race us… It was breathtaking.Regina and Gabriel also loved it J

Then , around 3.30 we got home, dressed up and headed to long beach. I watch our local PBS station and once in a while I support them. This time around I HAD to support them. In march I purchased tickets through their fundrising event to see Celtic Woman. They are incredible. Voices- so pure, so clean. These day, it is hard to find this kind of voice quality. If you have not heard of them, google Celtic Woman, or listen to their music in I tunes.
CONCERT WAS FABULOS. I cryed, I did. I had to. IT is not that often I got to see my fave artists live on stage, and seeing them perform live was life changing experience. Very inspirational and uplifting. J

So that was my day..

OH, THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU FOR KIND BIRTHDAY WISHES. YOU ALL MEAN A WORLD TO ME, AND I AM SORRY , IF I SOMETIMES WRITE ABOUT THINGS MAKE YOU UPSET, BUT THAT IS ME. I DO NOT HOLD BACK… LIFE IS TO SHORT TO HIDE UNDER COVERS…. ;0)..
Hope to see you soon guys. J

2007-05-05T19:47:00.000-07:00

Photography by Kiino.

We had such a wonderful day. Our day started with plumber showing up in our house… and fixed MAJOR plumbing problem- water pressure was triple what it was supposed to be, and we had water squirting out from faucets … after that very expensive error was fixed , we started 56 mile trip to LA.

Estonian house was converted into one huge studio with make up artist, hair stylist and photographer. Event was called house Beautiful and it was fundraiser to help raise funds towards fixing up Estonian house. We only stayed for a short while, since my dh was bored… men…

BTW dear Estonians- FOOD WAS AwesOME!!!!!
BTW, pics taken ( the ones that look professional , are taken by Kiino Villand.
http://www.kiinovilland.com/
he did awesome job. J

Then we headed to downtown LA. We went to see MOCA. ( Museum of Contemporary Art). http://www.moca.org/index.php check out this website, it has some of exhibits pics.

I LOVED it. I wish it was only me, so I had more time to look around… But since we were with kids, we had to hurry through and hit the road…

On our way home we stopped at Huntington beach and had nice early dinner . Weather was very windy, and wind was strong enough to carry us away, so we just took a short walk, and headed home .

It was very busy , but very fulfilling day. J
Tomorrow, Sunday… we are heading to Torrance, where Rides For Kids takes place…..

jatkuks

2007-04-30T07:43:00.000-07:00

Pean veel lisaks juurde mainima et, toidu korvale pakkusin vahevalt 5 erinevat teed- Jasmiini, roosioie, piparmyndi, oolong, ja valge jasmiini tee. KUigi kodus on mul hetkel yle 15 erineva tee variandi, ei suutnud ma maitsmiseks rohkem valmistada. J Lisan veel paal pilti..

To those who have no idea what I am talking about- I hosted a From Europe to Asia party. I filled room with tables and chairs, ( to resemble busy Chinese restaurant) , got food tea, snacks an Hot Pot party was ready to start. We also played few games, had quizzes, etc. It was tons of funJ

From Europe to Asia..

2007-04-29T21:02:00.000-07:00

Apologies to my English only language Readers. Today I will give you an update in Estonian. J
Otsustasin et see blogi sissekanne tuleb hoopis Eesti keeles, ja hasti paljude kirjavigadega… mul hakkab lahku kokku kirjutamine meelest ara minema.. Taitsa lopp, peaks sygisest Eesti koolis kaima hakkama, ja oma emakeelt uuesti oppima hakkama..

Aga nyyd asja juurde..Idee tekkis juba vaga ammu,kuid julgusest jai puudu. Kunagi Leila mainis et peaks mingi Aasia yrituse tegema kah. Ja ma muudkui haudusin seda motet ja mida rohkem ma motlesin, seda rohkem see idée mulle meeldis. JNo nii, ettevalmistused yrituseks algasid kuu tagasi- Saatsin kutsed valja… Ja siis tuli paanka hoog, paanikahoo jarel.. MIs ma nyyd edasi teen, mis syya, juua.. Ja siis loi pea kohal lamp sarama … DING… Miks mitte kasutada Sizhuani toitu.. Ainus probleem selle juures oli see, et Mu abikaasa kodulinnas syyakse higisama panevalt vyrtsikat toitu, mis enamuse Eestlaste ohtusoogi repertuaari ei kuulu. Nii jooksingi kohe poodi ja uurisin kohe sealselt 99 ranchi poe rahvalt jargi et mis oleks hea asendus Sichuani vyrtsidele. KOigepealt hakati kova haalega naerma, , kuid kui naeruga pidama saadi oeldi et koik kolbab… Nii ma ostsingi siis koik oma lemmiks kasted ja maitseained et need kuidagi mahedamaks muuta. Arvan et onnestus.

Eile ohtul siis kogunes minu kodukesse 18 eestlannat ( parandage kui vale number). JA koik ilusasti Aasia paraselt ennast yles ehtinud- kes hiina riietuses, jaapani detailidega, kes rohkem Jaapaniparaselt hiina touchinga, ja kes hoopis super mix koikidest aasia kultuuridest . Hasti lahe!!!
Toiduks valmistasin Sichuani Hot Poti- yhesonaga s.t. et ostsid hasti peenikeseks viilutatud lihad, juurviljad, seened, leht rohelised, tofu, idud,, ja mis koik veel ( aitahh, kes snacke ja muud vaja minevat toid ). Ning, koik selle panime lauale, Laua keskel oli mini gaasipliit podiseva maitsestatud veega , ning sinna hakkas rahvas siis vaikselt oma toitu tippima. Nalja kui palju… Hasti huvitav oli jalgida kuidas koik endale kasteid valmistasid – valikuvoimalus oli vahemalt 20 erinevat kasted ja lasin koikidel oma kasted valmis meisterdada et hiljem ei saaks kriitika osaliseks ( tark tegu , onju ).. Samuti koostasin Aasia parase viktoriini, koik pidasid notsu pildi joonistama , kuna on sea aasta, ja iga yks pidi kirjutama fortune cookie onne, ja siis panime koik onned urni, ning hiljem rahvas tombas endale homes onne….
Magustoiduks pakkusin 10 treasure rice dessert, ja erinevaid snacke, jaatiseid. \
Olin jooksus alates kella 8 hommikul, ja magama sain kell 2 oosel… Mulle nii meeldib selline jooksmine, ja toimetamine, ja ettekandmine, ja et keegi mind kamadaks, et ma tahan nyyd seda, ja too mulle seda ja kus see on…ihih….
Aitahh teile koikidele .JA aitahh vaga hea kingi eest Kallis Eesti rahvas J
Aru, kui vasinud ma olin, sain alles hommikul. Kui kell 8 yles arkasin selg kuidagi valutas, ja ploomi veinist oli pohmakas ka veel… Kuid see ei peatanud mind ette ovotmas jargmist reisu……

Pakkisime asjad ja lapsed autosse, ning asusime Big Beari poole teele Kevadet otsima… taitsa big bear lake juurde ei joudnud, kuid kaisime ara San Bernardino national forrest – Laste metsaradadel jalutamas… Nii lahe oli. Gabriel oli taielikult hasardis- Mesilased lendasid ja sumisesid ta kuulatas, sisalikud jooksid mooda, ta viskas kohuli ja uuris. Ta peatus iga teadete tahvli juures ja luges ara mis tema ees seisis ja siis uudistas suurte syytute pruunide silmadega, et kuidas ikka ja mis .. Nii armas… Reginal oli aga igav.. Ta muudkui haigutas ja uuris et millal me siis nyyd koju laheme – Nick , mis Nick. Haha… Tore parastlouna oli.. Peaks ka selle ara mainima et soime oma lounasoogi auto pagasiruumis istudes, ime et auto esiots ohku ei tousnud- Rasvane cheese, mushroom pizza, buffalo wings ja meie kogu kaal 390 lbs oleks pidanud ju sellele kaasa aitama. JJJ

Earth day

2007-04-22T20:20:00.000-07:00

Happy earth day… or what’s left of it?? What are you doing to keep this planet going?
I have to be honest here… I am not really good recycler .. If I remember I do it, but it is way to complicated- which plastic is ok, what kind of paper is fine, glass… I was just watching oprah, and I learned that pizza boxes are not recyclable , because something has been in it… ( greasy food, I can see earth gaining few lbs). BUT , I am trying to cut down using paper plates, and cups and napkins. I also use earth friendly cleaning products. Right now seventh generation. I have not switched out all my products yet, but most of them… I started doing this few months ago, because I started having horrible headaches after I cleaned my house.. I also had to give up using strong perfumes, again, because of headaches. I do use once in a while, but not as often I used to… I know that is also earth friendly. BUT I will not trade in my SUV. If president Bush starts driving around in Hybrid Limos ( not sure if they exist), then I will downgrade… lol but until then, I’ll pollute environment … just a little….

J

Today I went to Lowes and brought 60 dollars worth of plants. Flowers energize me.. They dye on my, but they make me feel good.. While doing some planting, I discovered that I have some major leaking going on somewhere under my house… Top soil looks fine , but then I started digging deeper and dirty secret of my gardens bottom soil came out… IT WAS SOAKED, ugly , clay like , yuck… I guess I have to contact somebody- landscaper possible to check out issues… Hate when things go the way I do not want them to go…

AND one more issue.. our plumbing is really messed up.. Seems like pressure issues. I flush, there is dripping going on everywhere. It annoys me, but scares also.. I am afraid one of these days one of main pipes will burst and overfloat our house. . Seriously – what materials were used to build this fuckin’ house??? Floam and some craft store pipes??

Soovitan Soojalt.

2007-04-21T19:58:00.000-07:00

The Namesake.
Yesterday YMCA had half nighter and I used this opportunity to unwind. I dropped kids into local Y and headed to movies. My mission- The Namesake. It was about Indian Immigrants and their kids who were born in USA and all the drama that surrounded them

Even though I am not Indian, while watching this movie I could find myself thinking- OMG, this is movie about my life. I moved away from Estonia when I was young, I gave birth in US, I was exited, confused, lost… and now when I am older I want to go back and join my Estonian family…

I recommend this movie to all of you. I cried , I laughed and I drooled over that dude who plaid main part- Gogol (Kal Penn) . He is Yummy !!!! Go see it J

Life is good, Nick is coming home next week JJJ

Dianatansaare

2007-04-16T21:48:00.000-07:00

( disclaimer—this is not a scam, just my view how things really are….

Let me introduce myself. My name is Diana TanSaare and I am president of foreign ministry BANK of California. I just want to let you know, if you send me 4000 dollars, I will give you about billion back( NEVER).. And I will give you this money, because president of other bank died and Now I have all this money to share with you . My dear stupid people ( but hey, all you dumbasses, just sent in those 4000 dollar checks.( or every other check amount that is less than 10 000 dollars… I do not want you to pay taxes that much….

Now let me let you know how things will work here. First you send money, then I tell you I want to marry you, then you have to show up at the airport wearing white dress, and then I will now show up…… YOU will feel mad and violated. You think that I am worst person ever…… But then suddenly I call you and tell you this bullshit story about me falling in airport because I was so madly inlove with you and that love made me blind… You forgive me, because that is your nature, to forgive sick people who are inlove. And I have to tell you that YOU have to send me more money,because I am still in hospital and here NIGERIA , they do not let you out before all bills are paid.. boohoo. And you send more, and I brake more bones…… and then we all end up in 20/20 or in dateline…

( You got the pic).. I am sorry to offend you people, BUT WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU MOTHERFUCKERS??? HOW CAN YOU BELIVE SUCH A BULLSHIT SCAM??? I do not feel sorry for any of you , and why should I … ( harsh , huh). How desperate are you people to get rich , to believe some weird emails that sound fishy from FIRST sentence .. If you do not know the recipient, just DELITE IT

2007-04-16T20:45:00.001-07:00

Dancing with the Stars… DID YOU SEE HEATHER DANCE. OMG.. Yes, she fell in the end, but over all…WOW. That girl can dance.. I am so proud of her. J

Nothing else much to Report… Oh, I do .. NICK IS COMING HOME NEXT WEEK. WOHOOOO

:(

2007-04-10T20:35:00.000-07:00

Bad news about My bellydancing recital on Thursday….
I can’t dance. LLL I did not mention it on http://www.diana78.blogspot.com/ diary, but I fell at the airport and kind of hurt my butt and hip.. I can work out , run, but I can’t move my hips the way I have to, so there you go .: (LLL: I CAN”T DANCE. But I am going to support my dancing buddies anyway. JJJ

2007-04-07T16:39:00.000-07:00

Ask Diana..

2007-04-06T19:28:00.000-07:00

Leila asked while ago what I think about Chinese medicine… She started reading a book about it ,and now things that she learns about start making sense ( Don’t ask me what she is reading about) ;)…I have no idea. I just give my opinion..

I am ALL for all kinds of MEDICINE, ONLY if you are 100% committed to it and follow through. If you read a book about it, and think that I should starting to take ginseng but same time you will keep living your regular lifestyle- It will not make sense to me. But if you start taking “traditional” medicine, slowly work changing you thinking, replacing or eliminating people in your life who are negative, practice special workout sessions, work with your ying yang… ,… I say YES, YES, YES, you are on right track… BUT you are the one who has to work out system that works for you. Books can say million things, - do this, or that, or sleep on this side and don’t sleep on that… YOU have to know why you can only sleep on that side, and drink that drink … and eat as much as you eat ….
You have to work out your system….
BTW Leila, are you reading about traditional or western Chinese medicine?

2007-04-03T22:14:00.000-07:00

I have something to say… I have something to say… I have something to say..
I LOVE television. If I could, I’d watch it 24/7. Well, maybe 12/7, and rest of 12 hours I’d sit in Edwards and watch movies.

Luckily this year we got digital TV and I can record all my favorite shows and later fast forward boring parts… blah blah blah…
Here is list of shows I watch….
Dancing with the stars
Americas Next top Model --- MY FAVE SHOW.
Pussycat Doll search--- Pretty entertaining… seems like most of hose girls have no brains, just lots of raw diva material…
CSI( NY, MIAMI and just CSI.
Crossing Jordan.
American Idol- this year it is pointless, since all those wannabes are just plain boring… Saija boy is pretty interesting and cute …. For a gay… hahahaj
Bachelor- first impression- he got looks but he is so dang boring… he makes me yawn… Why can’t bachelor dudes choose some rich guys with good sense of humor, who can make jokes and girls just laugh because they think joke was funny, but really, joke was on them HAHAHAH
National geographic channel almost everything in there is interesting… Love it.
L word- lesbian thing. I love it, but I do not get what the hype is all about… Everybody is talking about it. I watched it and yes, it is interesting, but since I am open minded and read few lesbian books ( you know, I thought I am one, still in closet,,,, maybe I am… still… in closet ;) )) I find nothing shocking about this show, but I do recommend it to you. It is good show ( couple of actresses should get a boot thought. They suck, I’d do much better job acting…
Deal or now deal… people are money hungry and that makes me laugh….
The view- I LOVE ROSY
Ellen DeGeneres- I LOVE HER TOOOO.. I love her sense of humor
Desperate Housewifes
Grays Anatomy- My fave medical drama… If I had a chance to be part of this show, I’d do it for free ( at least at first… lol)
Law and Order, SVU ( special victims Unit)…
There are few more shows, but I can’t remember their names…. Oh DR 90210, Workout, Real HouseWifes of Orange county-

So there you go.. These are my shows.. I also read http://www.perezhilton.com/ he is my hero. And Prescribe to Peoples Magazine… I waste my talent sitting home. I’d rather sit in somewhere in Hollywood ( like around Ivy restaurant ) lol and write down every single step Lohan Bitch takes….

Anything goes

2007-04-02T21:49:00.000-07:00

Ok guys…. Get your busy fingers typing and reply to this blog. The thing is … I need ideas what to write about. YOU ask, I answer . ANYTHING GOES. I am not shy so GIvE me some good topics and be ready for some answers, because I know in most cases you will disagree with me ( I do not like when people agree with me, I just feel like they are trying to kiss my ass….. ;) )

Give me some headlines…..

Dancing with the Stars...

2007-04-02T21:31:00.001-07:00

I am watchin Dancing with the starts Right now.
I am clued to screen… BUT only when Heather Mills or Joey ( from NSync) comes on. Heather just inspires me so much. I do not care what was going on between her and Paul, but OMG. That Girl can dance. SHE CAN DANCE WITH ONE LEG ( other is prosthetic, and has almost no movement at all… All I have to say is WOW. Keep up great work Heather.

Memories

2007-03-31T23:28:00.000-07:00

I feel like I am in mood for little “Chinese”. Nope, I know it is April Fools day, but I am not trying to make fools out of you..

I want to tell you about my grocery store experience in Chinese Supermarket- you know one of those stores where clothes, food and frogs are all sold in one… Yup..

Well, there I was , standing in line, cart filled with Chinese delicacies, that list NO nutritional information.. Weird, Not sure how Chinese manage to stay so slim without knowing how many calories they really are consuming…. But that is another story…

So there I was, waiting. . It was Sunday evening and store was packed with busy , and loud Asians. IT was hard to breath…. It was hot and supermarket stank… like dead frogs… Yuck yuck…. Before me stood about 5 other people, also sweating and looking around , thinking who the heck farted… Probably that white girl… she looks suspicious…..

Well, there I was standing, uncomfortable, because now everybody probably thought that I farted… and then out of nowhere ran one full of shit asian dude, and cut in front of me. At first I thought that , oh well, it is China, people do weird things here, they think only white girls fart, and now they cut in front of white girl, who’s shopping cart was full of attention, because everybody wanted to see WHAT I EAT TO STAY SO FAT….

Back to that Asian dude. I was furious and I just said out loud – DUMBASS-/ I knew he did not speak English, HE did not look like he could speak English,.. SO I thought that I was safe.. BUT, I was not only person in store who could speak English. There were 2 girls waiting on line, next to us. After I said DUMBASS.. I heard giggling… hihihih hihihih hihihih hihihih dksoishnknkdsh398ry9nklh(Y*^876))(__& ( they were talking to each other, and I guess that long line of nonsense just ment- I CANT BELIVE SHE TOLD HIM HE IS DUMBAss.. )*^(&^NKHJKBKJ B*&TNOIY(OKLU)*NH(JOK).
It weird to look at those girls… They covered their giggling mouths, hoping that I do not understand that talk was about me… DUH… I was only blue eyed person there …

But, I was still furious.. I can’t stand bad manners… AND if that dude had spoken any English , I would have given him speech about manners and birds and bees, and toothbrush and toothpaste, but since he was genuine Chinese, I just decided not to disturb him. I just told him DUMBASS one more time with a smile and bumped my shopping cart into him….. Dumbass…

I have been punished for being bad.

2007-03-31T16:29:00.001-07:00

Oh, I feels o gross… Yuck.. Today is third day that I am extremely exhausted.. Yesterday I spend 2 hours in ER because I was unable to breathe, I got some kind of shot that opened up my airways again.. Today I thought I feel great until about 10 AM. My tonsils are swollen and hurting, but that does not stop me eating. – Whipped cream, ice cream, sugar frosting, chocolate syrup, vanilla milk, candy chocolate- IT ALL GOES DOWN very well, but now I am feeling extremely tired because of all the extra sugar in my system… BTW. ER “’ person” suggested that I may have developed some allergies to sweeteners, so now I have to cut out all the “ bad” stuff “ that I love. AND I LOVE EQUAL AND SPLENDA. NOTHING REPLACES THE THAT FLAVOR. I hate stevia and other :really natural sweetener, so I think I am eating because I am stressed because I had to say by by to my sweet lovers for 6 years.

Now something ridiculos. One of my neighbors is old Asian lady, who forgets things… She asks me every time how Reginas Chemo is going and I TELL HER at least once a week- Lady, last time she had chemo was in 2004 december… SO why do you keep asking---- She tells, me OH, OK, I forgot, but now I REMEMBER it ( she speaks really fast, with thick Chinese accents- during 5 minute conversation, she can tell you her whole life story.. NOW, the same old lady Uses my expensive trash cans. We have 3 large regular cans, one recycling can, and one for green waste… Now, she has one tiny black, one tiny brown, and one tiny green. I PAY 80 dollars per months for trash pick up, not sure how much she pays, BUT she USES MY “designer” trash cans EVERY FUCKING WEEK. AND she never asks- oh, I FORGOT , she rings my doorbell, after each time she has loaded up my trashcans and tells me- here I boot ju sum good keik. Its from vooons, I am dajabetik, I cant eat sweet bread, but you can , thank you veri mush for letting me use jur trashcans, ju good people. Now, eat that fuckin’ crappy vons cake….

AND she does it every week. I have told her many many times, LADY, I DO NOT WANT YOUR crappy cakes. Give me liposuction, and you can use my trash cans as often you wish. Do I LOOK LIKE I WANT YOUR FUCKING CAKES????

( OMG, what the heck is wrong with me, she is old and sweet, and all I do is bitch about her.. .sorry my freeloading neighbor.)

Premonition.....

2007-03-26T20:40:00.000-07:00

HMH. Today I went to see really expensive movie. REALLY, REALLY expensive. Total price for it was 50 dollar ( JUST ME). You think I must be crazy, and probably are saying things like – YOU SHOULD HAVE GIVEN THAT money to me, or join Weight watchers instead- blah blah blah. BUT, Instead you spend watching crap like that. And I must tell it was crap, but just a tiny bit crap…. Sandra bullock was good, IDEA for a movie was excellent, and very well played, and I liked idea that all unexplainable things do not have to be explained , things just happen sometimes…. But crappidy crap… why is it always us, woman who screw up big time…. Huh?? Go see Sandras new movie - Premonition- You’ll find out why I am saying things I am… BUT oh yeah, at first I almost fell asleep, because beginning of movie was very “ calming” lol.

And now that expensive part- hourly after school daycare pay – 14 dollars per hour… and in the end I ended paying 7.25 per ticket and 42 dollars for babysitting center…. Sucks…..

Belly dance

2007-03-21T22:01:00.000-07:00

Have you always wondered what goes on in a belly dancing class?

COME TO OUR
BELLY DANCE CLASS RECITAL….
And see for yourself

THURSDAY, April 12th, 2007 7.30-9.00 PM

See the achievements of the Laguna Beach & Aliso Viejo Belly Dance Classes…
Admission: FREE + refreshments

Location : 384 Legion Street , Laguna Beach, CA 92651

See you there

This is not funny...

2007-03-18T21:26:00.000-07:00

…but I almost hit an leprechaun today. Little green , Mexican dude… I am not rude here you guys, but after leaving Estonian house, I had to make that famous right turn , and traffic was bitch. And there I was trying to make right turn and SUDDENLY, out of nowhere jumped out little green fat dude and started waving his hands. OF course, “zebra” was not seeable from where I was, and I did not see any people crossing. But I must be getting old, or I just do not see little people. .. Anyway, I hit my brakes as fast as possible , and stopped before I hit my little green Mexican, but oh damn, that Mexican was angry Mexican, he started waving his hands, showing me middle finger and pointing his eyes like letting me know, hei you bitch, where are your eyes. He was really angry looking and I looked at other cars, and everybody else was laughing their asses off. So there I was holding my laughter back, because I was scared that that green guy would pull green gun out of his pants and start shooting…. But yeah, after he crossed I started laughing too, because he was just fuckin’ funny… who thought that day after St Patrick’s day I would see green dudes running wild….

Congratulate me.... ;)

2007-03-18T17:53:00.000-07:00

(Karm esinaine Mall koos oma "teemiga)

Ja korraga sai Anti-Eestlasest Eesti Seltis Juhatuse Liige. Nimelt , tehti Dianale ( minule siis. toim) ettepanek yhineda vanade heade Eestlaste ja Eestlannadega, et hakata ajama “Eesti Asja”. Hetkel on Diana vaheke segaduses ja hoiab kahe kaega peast kinni, kuna pea ei taha raputamist lopetada ( kaks pohjust- Liigne kohvijoomine, voi siis lihtsalt sellest et ta ei saa aru miks ta sellise sammu ette vottis). Aga asja mulle meeldib ajada. Ja nyyd on mul pohjust ka seda teha….
Eestlased- Yhinege LA Eesti Seltsiga ..

mees, marss magama....

2007-03-16T21:58:00.000-07:00

My prince has arrived and he is snoring his nose off right now. I started my trip to LAX around 3 pm. Traffic was a real bitch. Just horrible. SUCKED. It took me 2 hours and 10 minutes to complete 53 miles. But we made it. AND then flight was 15 minutes late+ customs…. Instead of 5.15 we left 6.15. And made it home before 8 PM. Now my poor dude is sleeping and tired and is just sleeping. GOOD FOR HIM. Tomorrow he will take kids to chucke cheese and mall, and wahoos. Not sure what we will do for dinner,but I am hoping something good, because he is leaving Sunday early morning, ( yup, he is here only for a day) – Nianxiong Tan is dedicated to his work…. He better make enough money , so I can visit Estonia whenever I feel like it and not worry about going over BUDGET line.... OR budget line would be around 10 000 dollars per month. Hahahah…. I am not asking to much.. this time I blame it on Orange County. People around here live large and enjoy life…. I want to be one of them…( but do not expect me to gain chest size or 2)

Mida, mida???

2007-03-15T08:08:00.000-07:00

Don’t act like you know me, You don’t know me , ( doing my little head thing from side to side). Just kidding you homies…

I think my husband lost his mind. He decided that it is OK to have a meeting in Virginia. So weird. SO now he is coming home tomorrow ( yes I am going to pick him up from LAX, and myself, I stand under ENCOUTNER restaurant because I just want that thing to fall on me right there and then, so I can earn my WINGS… ( NO I AM NOT SUICIDAL). I just want my wings…. So he comes home for a day, and then runs as fast as possible to Virginia, because for GODS sake. ONE DAY with family is just WAY to much- AND I completely agree. So after that week he comes home for a day again and then we will celebrate his forty something birthday early this year….

ATTENTION--- ALL OF YOU WHO ARE USING PICTURES TAKEN BY ME , AND DISPLAY THEN ON YOUR WEBSITES ( HINT, HINT), PLEASE FEEL FREE TO USE THEM, BUT GIVE ME SOME KIND OF CREDIT. Right now I am working creating my logo to display on my pics , but until then, be nice to me…..

Ilusat Naistepaeva...

2007-03-08T18:29:00.000-08:00

Today is International Womans day....

If you want to know more about it check out this link

http://www.internationalwomensday.com/

So I am woman, and I am celebrating my PMS. WOHOO go periods... So dumb....

Now my room mates have lived me for 5 days. So far so good. I am not perfectionist, but I do miss my 100% privacy thing... And there are few hmhs here and there but oh well, I have to work on those.

Photos by diana, maarika and katre

2007-02-26T11:50:00.000-08:00

Kord iga pidu saab otsa ....

2007-02-24T22:24:00.000-08:00

I feel sad, extremely sad. It has been the best week in my life. Old friends, new friends, hours in the car, days and nights filled with laughter and “dark” humor… Life is good. Friends and family are what make life living worth. I am so fortunate to have Maarika in my life . She is my only friend from Estonia ( who lives in Estonia) that I have maintained my relationship with. I think we even look alike lol 
But tonight it all comes to an end ( well, at least until next time ) . They are leaving and I have to adjust myself back to my “old” boring self…. ;) OH, I miss her and her friend all ready. 

I just hope that their flight back to Estonia is better than their flight from NY to CA. ( They spent about 9 hours in airport, not knowing if they can come to CA and that was all because NY had ice storm, and their flights were rescheduled…. But they had awesome experience flying here because they got upgraded to First class with no charge and …. Yeah, players….. ;)

:)

2007-02-22T11:37:00.000-08:00

Just dropping in to tell ya that I have been busy Keeping my friends busy.. Well, my friend Maarika is here with her friend Katre, who is now also my friend ( OMG, I sound Like a 5 year old lol) and I try to keep them busy by finding them things to do and places to show.

But it has been absolutely amazing . I love having them around ... They crack me up all the time.... I just don't understand one thing-- WHy in the world they do not like mexican food?? That sucks big time ;)

??

2007-02-13T19:56:00.000-08:00

What the fuck happened to my NOT to make up pic? My face must be so screwed up even google can't stand it..... Oh, well , whatever....

Anyway you my dear good loyal readers. My very bestestest Est friend is coming to visit me for 10 days... OH> I am so exited I am running 102, 6 fever. lol I am burning up..... And I think I might be allergic to antibiotics doc. prescribed me... Today I got hives all over my body after I took my second dose.... yuck... itchi, very, very itchy...

AND HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO YOU ALL.

Love you honey- thanks for the beautiful flowers and note:0 To bad you can't be here with us ( with me ;) ) See you in 3 months. :)

diana

Warning

2007-02-11T19:50:00.001-08:00

WARNING…

Leave now , if you are not ready to see me without make up. YES, without MAKE up. This is huge. Really, it is. I am not that kind of girl , you know, who is willing to show up in public without my clothes… And I must tell, I do feel naked without my make up, because I do not think that I have ever seen myself without MU. Lol

Why I took this picture is because- someone recommended something and I must try and see if it works. I am experimenter and love food, so , this is must.

Mix one egg white with one teaspoon of lemon juice. Take cotton ball or brush, or cotton pad- whatever you have handy. Apply eggwhite mixture to your face and lie down just apply 2 coats. No more.. IT starts working right away…
I spend fortune every month for prescription creams, and gels for my acne problems ( at least $150 every month). And this tip came along on right time. Due to stress I am braking out big time. EVERYWHERE. But face is most important one. I can hide the other parts of my body with covering up with clothes, but I can not do so with my face….

Anyway.. today is my second day to do this mask. AND I must tell you- MY face has never felt so good. IT IS BREATHING. And mask itself feels soo good on my skin. It is not pulling or pushing, it is just tightening and it is the best feeling ever. J

BUT since it is beginning, I have no idea how it will affect my skin in long run. I am afraid that in few days I will break out even more and what’s then??? What is going to be my next step????

Before I leave , I have to tell you about my dream.. It is the weirdest dream I have ever had.

I was working out every day. But I kept gaining weight. Finally I went to see doctor and doctor told me that I was pregnant. And I was about 6 months pregnant…. I gave birth at 36 weeks to healthy baby ( not sure if boy or girl). IT had the most beautiful ocean blue eyes, and looked nothing like Nick. And then I remembered, when Nick was in china , I went to Starbucks and bought coffee from one guy , who I think was the most gorgeous guy I had ever seen (( REALLY, HE WAS) . lol./… Anyway, I woke up after I went to back to Starbucks to look for that guy and tell him that his coffee made me pregnant….

LOL LOL LOL.. BUT I must say, my baby did have THE most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen… And NOW I desperately want to have baby no3, because maybe, MAYBE my baby will have blue or gray eyes….. ;)

...

2007-02-08T18:13:00.000-08:00

I have been very inactive for past few days. Both of my kids were sick, I was sick ( constantly am),and I am still sick at this moment. I had to see my doctor again today. I pay him a visit at least once a week, leaving behind 35 dollar co pay an 50 dollar prescription for meds...

After nurse took my temp, and checked for blood pressure ( which was low again.... but it has been low for past 8 years). But that is not what I am here to write....

So , my doctor enters that white tiny room. I sit on the table wearing black pants, and black jacket. My hair isdark brown with purple hightlight... He looks at me and tells me- you hae done womething new to our hair....... ( now, I did it while ack and he did not notice it then.).

I told him, Yeah, Idid.......

THEN I broke down like 5 year old and told him- INEED RELEIF NOW, RIGHT NOW> I CANT TAKE PRESSURE IN MY HEAD ANYMORE. I feel like it is about to explode..... He ( doctor) looks at me and tellls me--" OK, let me go and get your mommy, maybe she knows what to do about your temper........ hahah Only he could say things like that......

Now I am taking augmentin and if this will not help me, then I will have to request for MRI to see what the heck is going on in there...... (In my head)...

I have to stop blogging now. This blogspot is driving me grazy. ....

Birds love me...

2007-01-31T12:06:00.000-08:00

Today starte out crappy, so I decided to take my camera and Head to Dana Point . Weather is cold and crappy, insurance companies are cold and crappy....

At least I got some luv from birds. They worked they" tails" off to get me take pics of them. They landed next to my and just stared at me like I was alian from Europe ( kind off...). And when i was about to leave Dana Point , one seal decided to pay me a wisit and cheer me up :)

good sale...

2007-01-30T19:48:00.000-08:00

I LOVE HOME DEPOT. I DO , I do , I dooododoodododo. 2 days ago I went to home depot because I really need to buy few plants, to freshen up my front yard. I t looks dead, BUT instead I left the store with 2 brand spankin' new RUGS. YES RUGS. Beautiful contemporary designer rugs, with not so designer price... Rugs for my living room had price tag on, and it was 570 dollars, But I got it with 120 ( clearance) and smaller rug for living room had 270 dollar tag, I payd 50 dollars. I am so fucking exitid about it. These rugs are SO my style and color that I almost started crying right there in Home depot, when they told me how much they are worth. lol. I am such a dork...haha

BTW , I'll be going to las Vegas again,but this time with my kids and with my girlfriend from Estonia. ;) I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!

Babyshower

2007-01-28T20:45:00.000-08:00

Today was such a fun day... We were invited to Piias Babyshower. ( one pretty cool estonian "chick") hihi. Babyshower was in her friends house. i met couple of "new" estonians ( new to me) and few other people I have not met before . Overall we had fun. We played few "babyshower"games like Guess what food is in that jar, and guess how big Piia is and nobody could say word BABY . etc. :)

After party we headed home and now kids are sleeping and I am trying to choose next song for my school performance. First song I sang was Que sera sera and i think I did pretty good...lol now I am between Orionco flow, Everything I do, I do it for you, strangers in the night and Eternal flame. I love all those songs and it is really hard to choose between them. Orionco flow song is my fave, but it is really hard to sing. Lyrics are little hard to remember and hard to pronounce out. I am leaning toward Strangers in the night. I LOVE LOVE THAT song, so I better practice little more before stepping on spotling....

OMG. I am just stupid...+ electrical issues..

2007-01-23T21:09:00.000-08:00

Today is tuesday. About 2 hour ago my lights started flickering- in every few minutes they would flash for a second and then turn back to normal. I started getting scared, what if we are going to loose electricity... So I went to Sand Diego Gas and Electric website to find more info and see if something was going on with electricity. YES there is . In Mission viejo area there are about 2000 people without electricity, and seems like people in laguna niguel area are starting to loose it too. I am NOT liking it. Not one bit. :(:(:((:( ---- Suspected problem ---- Underground electrical problem. I hope this problem will be resolved really fast. :)

OK. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME....

Ok. here I am trying to follow all those "beauty secrets" that supposed to make you look younger... So , for few days I have had really puffy eyes. Kind of like I have bad hangover kind of eyes...lol so I did some reserach and went to walgreens. I made sure I was the only customer in store, and after confirming that I walked straight to Preparation H isle and started comparing Right Prep H for me..hahahah. Those , who do not know what preparation H is, then go there,

http://www.preparationh.com/index.asp?src=google

I got the mildest one... You know, after all, I do not want it to shring my whole face..... go, tht would be really ugly.... I payed, rushed home and ' applyed it under my eyes... OMG. OMG OMG. It is not working. Instead of me having puffy eyes, Now I have puffy , red and swollen eyes. THANKS god i trryed it on my face first. Think about it, if I applyed Prep H to my @$$ first, what would have happene. My @$$ would have swollen to a size of an really huge watermelon ( or 2)... Whewww, thanks got we now have eliminated that problem....

Now I have to figure out how to get rid of my swollen eyes.. I do not want to walk to school tomorrow morning and see all the parents whispering- SHE must stayed awake whole night figuring out how to get that Prep H swelling down.....

OK. Off I go to stick my face into to bowl of ice....

:)

2007-01-21T21:09:00.000-08:00

Today I did some driving. I drove to LA and back It was worth the trip. lol Well, I attended tiny brainstorming meeting in LA Eesti majas bout upcoming LEP... :) Leila also took time off from her busy " jammies" schedule to show me area where LEP will take place. Thank you L. :)

OK. Nick left few minutes ago. Every time he leaves, I feel like we are having mini divorse . I had few way to many of those. As much as he drives me grazy when he is home, it drives me grazyererer when he leaves. I HATE cleaning up his "mess", I hate our arguments that lead us nowhere( because he Refuses to argue with me- He does not understand me or why i like sweet, or eating way to many snacks, or into "estonian" stuff , blah blah blah. And he refues to listen to my side of story... He walks around with bindfolds.... Anyway, I still luv him...

Now, In few weeks I start my bellydancing again, I enrolled Regina in Chess, I am planning to enroll gabriel some kind of music classes....

AND wish me luck... on tueday I have to perform in front of my "sInging" buddies - in front of 25 college students with song.... Oh, I get sweaty palms thinking about it... I am going to sing Que sera sera.... and song after that will be Like a prayer....

:)

2007-01-18T19:39:00.000-08:00

I'm sad about something, I thougt I would not be sad about. My dh Is leaving me again. AGAIN. This is like 10 time he is leaving and he keeps coming back. STOP PLAYING WITH MY FEELING YOU @$$hole. lol But seriosly, he is just going to "china" to do his job and make us rich.... hahah. it is about time...

Today, my singing instructor told us something very interesting.. He told us, that stop dreaming about being RICH IN THE FUTURE, stop dreaming about learing to sing in the future. Stop dreaming about things happening in the future. it is about time to start DREAMING about things happening to you right now. Dream that you are richNOW, dream that you can sing NOW, dream that you can do everything NOW... and HE IS so RighT. I CAN Do eerything now.- I can do whatever I want, I can be whoever I want to be, I just have to take that step now... and I am about to.... :):)

ALSO, I made reservations to TI Amo Ristorante in Laguna beach. We are going there with our Long beach friends... We never beent o TI amo, , but I will let you know how food is there....

Forty Deuce

2007-01-14T09:40:00.000-08:00

Saturday in Hollywood. FUN. Tantra, FOrty deuce, Russell Crowe and Sting.. Smoking indoors and more... If I was Russell Crowe and smoked indoors in Forty Deuce, nobody would make a big deal out of it.... But oh well, I was born as Diana Saare ...

TANTRA- awsome restaurant with beautiful interior and tasty food. And prices were pretty low (from 3-19 ) . Coctails-tasty...

I do not like watching sports...

2007-01-12T14:39:00.000-08:00

...but with this TV I COULD. WOHOOO. Our plasma is up and WORTH every dollar. :)

Pop pop pop

2007-01-10T12:24:00.000-08:00

Something weird just popped to my head...
You all have been to a kids birhtday party, of if not then friends birthday party. You all have searched for that PERFECT present for that perfect someone. ANd then Bday arrives. You wrap, you decorate, you write a card, you dress up, but on your best smile and WEEEEEEE... of you go to that fun fun fun party. You eat, and dance, and drink and play games with kids and pretend that you are having hellofatime... ( but really you are just checking time- is it 1pm yet, is it?
AND then it is time to open presents .... You look around in the room, everybodyis so fucking exited about it . WOHOO> You re getting sweaty, your hands are starting to shake, uh oh uh oh, they are opening your gift now... Does she/he likes it, is it the BEST GIFT he/she ever gotten...

And then it's open. Bday person looks at his mom with a nervous smile, you are not sure what is going on, OMG. OMG OMG. MOM looks back at birthdayperson with even more nervous smile - seems like there is some kind of weird communicaton between the 2 of them... AND THEN together they go- OH HOW FUN, we LOVE IT, oh thank you so much, your brother has one JUST LIKE IT. ..... WA wa wa wawa

I am not sure why I even posted it....lol but lately I have seen so many upset faces- KIDS DO NOT know HOW TO APRECIATE "THINGS" ANYMORE. ME NOT HAPPY, ME CRAPPY. SO NEXT TIME YOU INVITE ME TO YOUR BDAY- all you get is H U G .... and do not act confused.....

New year...

2007-01-08T20:11:00.000-08:00

AND new season of PMS has officialy started. OH yeah baby.... moodswings, breakouts, sexual identiy issues ( I just made that up), irritabiltiy, hunger, hunger, hunger, hunger, moodiness... OH. AND imagine this, it will last about 2 weeks. I so am not looking forward to this"season" and my gyn just laughs and tells me - WELL, it is your own fault that you refuse to take birth control... IT will help OR, I can prescibe you some antidepressants blah blah blah... I told her- Look lady, you know my history, YOU know that some weird ingredient in those pills makes me hallusinate ( BIG TIME), AND you till are tryig to prescirby me some?? What's in it for you, bigger paycheck for selling some unnessesary drugs for totally inoscent bytander who has major PMS??? I rather drink bottle of vodka and check myself into AA or rehab, so I could meet LIndsey Lohan ( so what I don't really like her)... DUH...

Anyway, all I really wanted to tell you is , don't be scared if you see me with few extra pounds... Just think of those xtra pounds as- gallon of ice cream, or pork rinds, or 10 jars of mustard or hot and spicy chillies...( yeah, i got bloody blisters in my mouth because of chillies... )

OK. Off I go to check my eating disorder course ( yes, I am taking online eating disorders, becaue I think I HAVE few,,, ( You know , eating chillies and mustard and ice cream CAN"T be normal....

Major food overload....

2007-01-06T22:12:00.000-08:00

I am complainer. I AM. I complain about everything and I WHINE, and I yell, and scream and compalin bit more. I started complaining to my dh about that he Never takes me to Caspian Restaurant. ( best persian food around). he takes his business partners there, his friends... BUT WHAT ABOUT ME>.... HE know I love persian foods, MY FAVORITE.

So he made reservations to Caspian. HUGE place. Not sure how many people it fits, but it was overloaded with different naionalities and if you did not have reservation , people had to wait 2 hours to get table. THAT how good and grazy that place was. AND of course, since it was saturday, bellydancers took stage... NOW, I am not professional bellydancer , but those "BELLYDANCERS" were NOT worth seing. NOT AT ALL. First of all, they did have bellies, but you have to WORK IT GIRLS. IF you want to get a dollar from me, better roll your belly and move those hips from left to the right, from right to the left... Anyways, it was just BLAH... B O R I N G .....
BUT FOOD, Oo MI GAD, food was soooo good, I think I am going to dream about my chicken and rice and eggplants and other things that were on that specialty plate. I love persian food because it is very flavorful ( JUST likeEstonian cuisine,but only different) It was just perfect dinner... I wanted to have baklava but , after I finished my chicken I just had no space for extras... :(:(:( , OH, and I tasted persian vodka... Pretty good. I ever had persian vodka before, so I really can not compare to any other persian brands.... :)

I think I will go back to that place, but only when there are no "wannabe" bellydancers on stage... ANd OH, they also danced rumba and salsa I think. Weird....